It’s day 16. Do you know where your children are?
I posted this yesterday on DietBet, but it bears repeating: I am SO. SICK. OF SALAD.
I’ve had a lot of late nights recently, resulting in needing to order food instead of eating the yummy, healthy, Whole30-compliant dinners I have waiting for me at home. The only thing that seems safe to eat in those circumstances is a very basic build-your-own salad without dressing from a fresh salad joint. And man, I am so over salad at this point. I’m also over shelling out additional cash on pretentious salads — yeah, that’s a thing — on top of the substantial amount of money I’ve already spent to make the meals I’m neglecting in the first place. GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE, GRUMBLE. I’m looking mad forward to eating at home all weekend.
Yesterday, the halfway point, was a decent day. I had a meeting that went on entirely too long, and when I emerged from the staircase afterwards on the way back to my office, two co-workers were chatting by the elevators. One suddenly stopped herself mid-sentence and called out, “Is that… is that you?” I turned around and said, “Yes, I’m me!” She started saying she thought it was me, but she wasn’t sure; I looked so good, could I help her with losing weight?! She must have said 3 or 4 times how different or good she thought I looked. (I rarely see this person.) That felt pretty nice. (Thanks, super flowy, former oh-honey top I was wearing yesterday!)
Yesterday evening was a good-bye gathering for a colleague, and I was the designated cupcake picker-upper. Not just any cupcakes, mind you. They spent Wednesday night in my fridge, all day Thursday in my office, and Thursday evening staring at me while everyone else partook. That fudgy chocolate frosting looked amazing, but was it? I have only the word of other people — and foggy, fond memories — to go on. Passing on those babies wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, actually; honestly, having them at home and in my office for nearly a full day was fine. I didn’t think about them at all. It was watching everyone else eat (and enjoy) them that gave me a pang. I’m telling myself it was mostly FOMO while I remind myself what sugar does to my insides. That shit looked sooooo yummy, though. *single tear
The one thing that has started feeling like a sacrifice is coffee. Go figure, right? The one thing I gave up voluntarily, outside of the program’s guidelines, is the one that has started to hurt. BUT, BUT, BUT! Yesterday was the first time in over a week I did not get a headache! I had several early on, then a few days without, and then straight headaches for about a week and a half. They were more of the dull, nagging variety than the throbbing, painful variety; enough to be annoying and prevent clear thinking or ease in falling asleep, but not a light enough touch that I could avoid taking something to make it go away. The night before last, I noticed the headache was a little lower in strength than the ones leading up to it, and I rolled the dice: I went to bed without popping Excedrin, and the headache went away. I slept normally all night and had no remnants of the headache when I woke up in the morning. Then, no headache during the day, and I went to sleep pain free! Magic! It’s not exactly tiger blood, but I’ll take it.
You know, one thing I have taken from this is that being open about my dietary restrictions has been very helpful, and not embarrassing. This comes as a complete surprise to me, given how uncomfortable I have been all my life with letting people into this weight-loss stuff with me. It feels like THE most personal thing I could share, no matter how limited the sharing is. I feel appreciative and humbled by being proven dead wrong about this. The implicit accountability, support, and encouragement from people has been incredible. I’ve even intentionally told my parents I’m doing this, and they won’t even see me during these 30 days. LIGHT BULB! I don’t have to do everything alone. A lesson decades in the making.
Sadly, I STILL have not made it to the gym. It’s on the docket for tomorrow, right between SLEEP IN and PLAN NEXT WEEK’S MENUS.
Fifteen down, fifteen to go!