I think I got a total of 45 minutes of sleep last night.
Why? Because I went on an epic binge before bed.
Why? No idea.
What I do know is, it wasn’t worth it.
However, I can say that for the first time ever, I was at the gym at 4:58 in the morning with the early risers. I got my pick of the machines without needing to wait for the meatheads to get out of the way. I even, for the first time in a while, got on an elliptical for the long haul. It was awesome, but frankly, very gassy. Every time I started up a “hill” on the work-out setting, I was like that thing your car does when it’s low on fuel: putputput pfffft. With only 12 minutes left of my hour, I had to jump off of the machine and succumb to runner’s trots and last night’s mistakes. (Listen, I know it’s not lady like to talk about farting and pooping, but I am not a lady at the gym. I’m barely human. I’m a freaking red-faced, sweat-drenched animal.) You’re welcome for this story.
I’m not really a morning person; my VivoFit shows I get my deepest sleep in the hours before my alarm goes off at 7 AM. Maybe I’m pampered, but I really bank on my 8-9 hours of sleep, and in order to get up early enough in the morning to work out, shower, and get ready for work, would require me to go to bed at like 9 PM in order to get enough rest. But, given how much less stressful it actually was to work out because the gym was virtually empty, and how much quicker I was able to get through my weights circuit for the same reason, it may be worth trying a change in routine for a week to see how it goes. It may also shake up my body’s rhythm enough to spark a drop in weight.
Walking home afterwards, “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus came on my iPod. I downloaded it last year as an unlikely weight-loss song I would listen to on long walks around my neighborhood in the cool evenings after hot days in the summer. It’s a kind of sappy song from the days in Miley’s career before she came in like a wrecking ball and started dancing with Molly. Cheesy though it may be, it does ring true:
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
So, I’m gonna put the terrible choices of last night and rumspringa and everything else behind me where they belong, and keep on climbing. It’s hard, but it’s the good type of hard. I think I’m finally feeling in control again.