I’m not a coffee addict, but I do like my coffee. It’s actually the coffee I like, by the way; I take it black, no cream or sugar diluting the hearty, nutty, bitter flavor. I usually amble down the block on week day mornings to pick up a cup for myself to drink at work, and brew some at home in my French press on lazy weekend mornings or go for the bottomless coffee pots alongside leisurely weekend brunches with friends. The smell of the roasted beans, the taste of the soothing liquid, the feel of the warm mug between my hands… I just enjoy the stuff.
I have a 3-year losing streak playing Starbucks for Life, which sees my fiendish behavior amp up significantly every year as I invariably rack up 2 out of 3 stickers in every category before ultimately only gaining dupes for the rest of the game’s duration. That’s when a mild addictive pattern does start to form, born out of addiction to the possibility of winning MORE COFFEE, however improbable. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed I’m much more sensitive to caffeine than ever before. I stopped drinking it after 12 PM a few years back when I realized it was wreaking havoc on my ability to fall asleep at night, but now it seems that if I have it more than a couple of days in a row, my sleep starts to suffer. And so…
I’m giving up the brown stuff.
TEMPORARILY. Like, for the rest of this month (and then we’ll see).
Conventional wisdom goes that it takes three weeks to form a habit. Today was the first day I had no coffee, and three weeks from today is January 30th, which is just before the last day of the month. So I’m going to be attentive to my physiological responses, where sleep is concerned as well as what effects it may have on my hunger and energy levels throughout the day and decide after that window whether or not it’s worth continuing the coffee hiatus. I’ve given up coffee before for almost the exact same reason, but since it was during Whole30, it was impossible to isolate which impacts the diet was having on me vs. which ones coffee was, and/or how the two interplayed. I’m really down with this sort of torturous self-experimentation, so hey, let’s call it science and party.
I didn’t sleep well last night, which is surely part of why I’m feeling draggy right now, but I’m sure the lack of coffee is also contributing to that. I woke up his morning feeling as if I had been partially awake for a few hours. It would be awesome to wake up from a full sleep to the sound of my alarm, rather than from a semi-conscious state in anticipation of my alarm.
Speaking of this morning, I noticed at one point of my semi-consciousness that my VivoFit wasn’t on my wrist, which is odd because I’ve been sleeping with it on for 3 years. I felt around for it in the sheets, but it wasn’t there. When I finally got out of bed, I saw it was lying on the floor. I had clearly removed it and tossed it in my sleep! Oh, subconscious self. Don’t look for the symbolism, don’t look for the symbolism, don’t look for the symbolism…!
Also, last night, I finally did what could be classified as exercise. My Wii Fit balance board arrived, and I did a Wii bit of activity for 30 minutes! 🙂 Baby steps still count towards that daily goal.
I’m hoping that once the caffeine fully leaves my system, I’ll get into more of a natural energy cycle that will make working out more productive. I have a gym session in mind for tomorrow, which I don’t expect to be an easy time, but starting never is.
Don’t think, just go. **breathes**
I’m so glad you are back at it. I’ve wondered what is going on with you since you stopped writing last year and am sorry you have had such a hard time. Coincidentally, I am also rededicating myself to myself right now so I am with you struggling to change bad habits!
I always wonder what happens to people who mysteriously stop posting. Thank you for this comment! It made me smile 🙂 I’m glad you’re getting back into the game, too! We can do it — it’s all about mind over matter. (Sounds so simple, but we know better!) Stay strong, sister!