Tag Archives: body recomposition

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NEW DAY 397: Delululemon

My eyes are glitching, and it’s breaking my brain.

In a casual conversation with a coworker last week, I mentioned in an offhand way that I’m “still a big girl”. When she began her reply to that part of the conversation, she opened with, “First of all, no one sees you as a big girl. You know that, right?” It blew my entire mind hearing that.

No one sees me as a big girl.

…Except me.

I do double and triple takes in store windows and mirrors when I catch my reflection unexpectedly. It doesn’t compute that I’m the person I’m seeing in there. But at the same time, when I look at myself deliberately, all I can see are the parts that I’m still not happy with — or I’m newly unhappy with.

Stomach still big.
Fingers still chubby.
Upper arms and inner thighs carrying loose skin.
Ass shapeless.
Chest saggy.

Maybe lifelong fatties are destined to never be satisfied with how they look. Yet somehow, I’m still thrilled with the results from a data standpoint.

The night I came home from work after that conversation with my coworker, I realized that I’d lost more than 35 pounds in the time my coworkers have known me. This means that not only have they never known me not in transition, but they never knew me as THE big girl.

I further realized that no one who meets me from this point forward will be meeting an obese person.

Now that it’s full-on summer, I find myself without comfortable sleepwear that fits. In one of my periodic wardrobe culls yesterday, I found some old t-shirts and tank tops that I have had forever and never been able to wear… except that they’re loose in the upper torso. That’s when it hit me that I hardly ever wear anything other than sports bras nowadays, and it hit me that actually, I haven’t been filling out my regular bras lately.

This prompted a bra shopping trip where I tried on exactly a dozen bras, just trying to identify my size now. I was truly shocked to discover I’ve lost another cup size and TWO more band sizes, depending on which bra you ask of the two I came home with. All told, I’ve dropped from a 44DD to a 38C/36D. What. I have some bras in those sizes lying around at home from when I was in high school. HIGH SCHOOL. Between those and the two I bought on clearance yesterday, I should be covered (ha) for a while. I don’t want to invest in a whole new suite of bras until my body is done recomposing itself — and that’s still a good 30+ pounds away. But I am not at all processing the itty bitty titty sitty situation.

Then this morning, for my weekly weigh-in, I clocked a new lowest-ever (adult) weight: 172.0 lbs.
I’m not only on the 160 side of 175; I’m on the 150 side of 175: I’m closer to 160 than to 180, and closer to 150 than to 200.

Losing 100 pounds and getting below 200 were huge milestones, but this? This has me shook in a way neither of those numbers did. Not because I didn’t think it was possible, but because for so long it wasn’t — and now it is.

One hundred and twenty-nine pounds down, and within spitting distance of the 160s. Within sight of The Finish Line beyond that. After all the running, the lifting, the self-coaching, the right choices, the meal prepping, the showing up when no one was watching and I didn’t feel like it… I’m here. And as they say, I didn’t come this far to come this far.

In a way, I’m glad I’m not seeing myself clearly right now, whatever that even means. There’s work to do, and nobody but me is gonna do it. Eventually, my eyes will probably catch up with reality, and maybe even with the eyes of others. Until then — and even after then — it’s go time.

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NEW DAY 370: GLP-none

Over the weekend, my mom treated us to mani-pedis at a salon I’ve been going to for years. The owner, who often staffs the front desk, has the same name as me, so we’ve been making prolonged chit-chat every since our first encounter when we figured that out. She hasn’t been around much lately, so when I saw her on Saturday, she complimented my weight loss and seemed struck by it. Then she asked, “are you taking one of those GLP-1s?” When I said no, she was even more floored. “You’re the only person I’ve asked recently who isn’t!”

I ran into another person whom I hadn’t seen since last August — before I even started 75 Hard — at the end of May. He took a moment to recognize me. Once he did and we’d gotten through the small talk portion of the conversation, he also asked me if I’ve been taking “Ozempic or something”. I awkwardly responded, in front of the friend who was there with me and is on a GLP-1, “no, I’m doing it naturally. I run all the time.” (Really, what is the etiquette here?)

It’s no secret that plenty of people are losing weight with the help of glucagon-like peptide-1 drugs. As mass-market appeal grows, so will their use continue to grow. Anyone who is using them for legitimate reasons, and is doing so safely and responsibly, has my blessing — not that they need it! I hope their GLP-1 experience is effective and 0% harmful. I have no problem with them as a general rule. They’re just not for me.

My weight loss has been rapid and drastic. I’ve lost 126 pounds since February of 2025, 106 of which have been since this time last year. Body recomposition has been further changing my shape, defining my muscle tone, and highlighting my facial bone structure pretty prominently for the past 3-4 months. Almost every time my dad sees me, he says something like “my daughter is disappearing!” My brother literally didn’t recognize me when we saw each other at the end of April for the first time since Thanksgiving. Hell, I even had a moment a couple of weeks ago when I was looking inside a storefront window I was passing by, saw someone, and thought, “that thin lady looks like me! …WAIT.“

Given the prevalence of the weight-loss wonder drugs and how prominent my transformation has been, it’s no surprise at all that people would assume I’m one of the 12% of the adult American population who’s on one. There’s a part of me that feels indignant about that. I don’t want just partial credit for my careful nutritional architecture, my self-coached running and strength training, my sweating through challenging YouTube workouts, and my newfound addiction to the pleasurable low-key torture that is Pilates. I deserve FULL credit for all of it. No GLP-1 has contributed to any of this. But hey, if the results are SO pronounced that the only logical conclusion people (who don’t know me very well) can arrive at is that I must be fast-tracking things with a GLP-1, I’ll try to view that as a compliment.

Again, no judgment here towards anyone using a GLP-1 for the right reasons. They’re meant to help people lose necessary weight who have had trouble doing so. Personally, I’ve found a way to better health without any pills, powders, or injections — and I’m proud of that.
I’m proud of my body.
I’m proud of my stats.
And I’m VERY proud of my mind for finding the strength to push myself through the most intense and challenging parts of the process, time and time again. Nobody but me did that.

And for the person who could barely walk 5 minutes without keeling over at this time last year, yeah, I will absolutely strut it.