It’s day 9 of Whole30. According to the timeline, my pants are supposed to be feeling tighter on days 8-9. They’re not. Everything is feeling looser, including the ring that slid off my finger yesterday and had to be relocated to a neighboring digit to preclude a repeat event.
“Fuck it,” I thought to myself around 9:00 last night.
And I headed to the scale.
And I weighed myself.
Now, there was the inherent risk in this of being completely crushed by the number I saw. What if it was higher? What if it was infinitesimal? What if — heaven forbid — it was completely unchanged?! I figured it was worth knowing, even though it wasn’t the final Whole30 weight-loss number. I stood on the scale, looked down at my toes, and saw…
…a 10.6-pound loss.
I’ll repeat that: As of 9:00 PM on day 8 of Whole30, I had lost 10.6 pounds.
Here come ALL THE DISCLAIMERS and a BUT STILL:
- The first week of any diet change is the best week. It’s the body’s freak-out-and-adjust period, where it sheds tons of water weight and other crap you don’t need. So, it’s not like I’ll be dropping 10.6 pounds per week here.
- My period started yesterday. (I have a vagina and corresponding lady bits. I discuss my period sometimes like a grown-ass woman. If this bugs you, go read someone else’s blog.) All my period bloat happens during PMS week, and then I lose weight the week of the actual perioding. So, that’s a factor.
- I had several bouts of diarrhea on day 8, leading up to the scale reading. (I have an anus and corresponding human bits. I discuss my bowels sometimes like a grown-ass adult. If this bugs you, go read someone else’s blog.) So, that surely had an effect.
- I’ve had whatever this illness is since Saturday night, which is often a dehydrating force. So, that likely showed up on the scale.
TEN POINT SIX POUNDS, Y’ALL.
I’m not sorry for weighing myself. In fact, I’ll probably stick with doing it once a week for the duration of the time I stick with Whole30 (and I phrase it that way because, as of right now, I’m seriously considering just sticking with it through the wedding I’m in in May). Furthermore, I’m cheating on Whole30 in a couple of other ways that Melissa Hartwig would probably have my head for:
- I’m snacking between meals. Yeah, that’s right, I’m intentionally snacking. I am not changing my usual eating rhythm of eating every 3 hours, even though Whole30 stipulates that you should restrict yourself to only 3 meals per day and not snack unless you’re desperate. Welp, not this chick. I’m sticking to my 5 meals because I know it works for me, body and
soulschedule. I don’t think it’s worth veering off of that, so I chose not to from the outset.
- I’m not perfectly balancing my proteins, fats, and carbs at each feeding. I mean, I mostly end up doing it just by luck, but I’m not melting my brain trying to make that happen. I am not adding almond butter to every apple I eat just because I must have healthy fat. I mustn’t. I wantn’t. So I willn’t. (Coincidentally, I do happen to eat an apple and actual almonds at the same scheduled snack time, but the point stands.) The balance will mostly work out over the course of the day. Mainly, I just want to get enough veggies, so that’s primarily been my focus.
I don’t think these two grievous modifications will drastically skew my results in any direction, nor am I quite that inclined to care. The big point of Whole30, which I am adhering to 100%, is the elimination. Here’s what I *AM* doing:
- No added (refined) sugar
- No legumes
- No alcohol
- No grains at all
- No soy
- No dairy
- No coffee (not a part of the program; added by me)
Therefore, the intended anti-inflammatory experiment has room to run, and I’m still doing it “right.” I hereby absolve myself of my sins.
Deal with it, Melissa.
P.S. 10.6 pounds. Just sayin’.
P.P.S. Someone even commented today in reference to Whole30 that “it’s working.”
P.P.P.S. Shut up, Melissa.