Tag Archives: progress

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NEW DAY 89: Was blind, but now I see

The spell is broken: halfway through 75 Hard and I’m finally able to notice some changes in my progress picture for the very first time. They aren’t major differences, but enough that I no longer feel gaslit by my own eyes.

Unfortunately, what has always accompanied moments like this for me is the unwelcome reality of how far I still have left to go. I unconsciously zone in on the areas of my body that bother me most and bore hate into them with my laser eyeballs, as if the heat from my resentment will melt the fat right off. (Spoiler alert: it has not.)

I’m not feeling deflated or discouraged, but I am feeling tired. It’s the familiar moment of being a third of the way up a very steep hill I’m walking and knowing the only way to the top is to keep putting one weary foot in front of the other and dragging my wide load all the way up. How the heck long am I gonna have to drag my ass until I get there? UGH.

And yet, I have nothing to reasonably complain about. I have only been at this for a little over 3 months, and my progress has been remarkable. That virtue of patience I hear so much about is not one I possess, but keeping things in perspective, I am dropping weight quite quickly with the help of 75 Hard. I know that won’t last forever; the losses will slow as there’s less to lose, and I will have a new level of mental toughness to attain.

Until then, I’ll look back at the distance I’ve covered so far and be proud of my aching feet for putting it behind me.

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NEW DAY 88: Sick challenge, bro

It’s day 85 of recommitting to my health.
It’s day 36 of 75 Hard.
And it’s day 4 of having a yucky cold.

In spite of the simultaneous congestion and leakiness, productive cough, and resulting lack of sleep, there has been no change to the program. I have been continuing to get my twice daily workouts — albeit with tamer intensity than usual — and somehow getting even more liquid than the 1 gallon’s worth of water into my body as required by 75 Hard. It’s actually easy to forget that I’m sick when I’m out there moving, save for the occasional interruptions to hack up something gnarly. (Oh yeah, it’s just as sexy as you’re imagining.) It’s when I stop moving for too long that the symptoms seem to kick into high gear. It’s in large part due to that that I completed all of my meal prep for the week before 10 AM today (Sunday)… but now I have nothing to do until the early afternoon. I’m pounding my first mug of tea for the day (following 2 32-oz bottles of water I’ve already downed this morning) and hoping the stupid amount of hydration I’m doing will help speed up the recovery process.

I’m not sure how I’ve done on weight loss this week since I don’t plan to check until later, but I do know that since my last post, I’ve won a Kickstarter DietBet and the first round of a Transformer. For the Transformer, I’m actually hovering right around my round 3 goal weight already, so — at the risk of being overconfident and tempting fate — I feel like I can count that overall win 5 months from now as already in the bag.

I’ve joined an additional Kickstarter to keep the momentum and small financial incentive going, and may add myself to another Transformer sometime before the year is out.

For the next few days, my game plan is to keep doing my 45-minute workouts at moderate difficulty, and to do both outside in service of health benefits for me and limiting contagion for others who’d be in my vicinity at the gym. I should be good as new by midweek, which will coincide with the halfway point of 75 Hard. It’s kind of crazy how many added hurdles I’ve contended with during the challenge so far: I’ve had sleeplessness, blisters, an outdoor workout in a heavy downpour, horror-movie levels of menstrual bleeding through my clothes while on the elliptical, mind-numbing cramps, and now this lovely little virus. Although its demands are almost entirely physical, the stated purpose of 75 Hard is to improve mental toughness. We aren’t even 50% through yet and already I feel confident about mine.

Oh, and I decided to check my weight before wrapping up this entry. Half the week spent fighting sickness, and still another 3.1 pounds gone.

Let no one come for my tenacity. 💪

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NEW DAY 81: OMG, WHAT?!

Sunday is my weight tracking day. It’s the day I mark the end (NOT beginning) of my week and officially update my weight loss tracker. I try not to peek at the scale between Sundays, unless I have to for a DietBet weigh-in/weigh-out.

Well.

I just had my weekly 1:1 meeting with the scale, and…

Ho. Ly. WHAT.

I lost 7.2 pounds last week.

No, like… actually.

This goes a long way to offsetting some of my disappointment from last week, when I only dropped 1.8 pounds after powering through some truly torturous workouts (and other situations) while on a sinister period — and I highly suspect that a non-negligible portion of this 7.2-pound loss was really from last week, but masked by residual water retention. All the disclaimers aside, it doesn’t matter when the scale decided to show the change; I worked for it, I earned it, and it’s my win!

I had been feeling and noticing differences throughout the week, but I never imagined I would lose more than 4 lbs at the absolute max. I have NEVER lost this much in a single week. I am absolutely mindblown!

It feels even better knowing it’s not from doing anything but truly healthy things. I’m consuming zero processed sugar, drinking at least a gallon of water every day, and working out twice a day. Importantly, I’m also spending time outdoors and getting enough sleep to sustain the physical demands I’m making of my body. And boy, did my body reward me for it this week.

Seven. Point. Two.

LET’S GO!!!

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NEW DAY 80: Label it

In a past weight loss life, I did a few rounds of the Whole 30 diet. One of my favorite foods and staples each time was Aidell’s chicken and apple breakfast sausage, because it had zero added sugar. In my current tango with 75 Hard, I’ve been looking for reliable sugarless foods I can easily incorporate as the healthy eating part of my challenging. My meal plan for next week’s breakfast included those sausages. So imagine my shock when I flipped a package of them over in my hand when I was grocery shopping this morning and discovered they now contain 2g of added sugar! 😱

I’ve had the Aidell’s sausages many times since I last did Whole 30; they’re delicious and simple to make. I have also checked those labels in the time since and am certain that they remained free of added sugar until as recently as earlier this year. When did this happen?!

Needless to say, I dropped the Aidell’s like it was hot and was fortunately able to find a different brand of chicken breakfast sausage that did have no sugar added. I’m so glad I thought to confirm the nutrition facts on the package before throwing it into my bag! Simultaneously, I’m so disappointed about this change. Granted, 2 grams of added sugar is negligible in most cases, but zero added sugar means ZERO added sugar. Close call — phew!

I am on day 28 of 75 Hard and holding strong. I did all of my meal prep for the upcoming week today after my grocery run, and my second workout of the day was a walk/dance in the lightly falling rain. I’m feeling so good about having the energy to get through everything I’ve planned and then some each day, and to know that I’m taking good care of myself.

I’m also becoming more invested in this half marathon idea. On Thursday night, I put together a training plan of 25 weeks that would begin in early November. My plan right now is to complete 75 Hard, start a less-rigorous workout routine (twice a day is simply not sustainable forever) and allow my body to adapt to things like weight training and rest days, then begin the program. I built it from a great deal of research, combining elements of plans designed by a couple of sources and creating something that will meet me where I’m at to start and allow me to work my way up in a gradual yet demanding fashion. I’m actually looking forward to this! It’s going to be incredibly tough — I am NOT a runner, nor am I built like one — but I want to trust my body to rise to the challenge and level up in fitness. 75 Hard is definitely greasing the wheels for it, too: I’ll have lost a helpful amount of weight by the time early November rolls around, which will make it easier on my joints to adapt to running.

This is a lot of change in just a few short months. The person I was at the beginning of this year would never believe what she would be capable of a little later that year — and in spite of the shitty things that would happen to her before that.

Doing this will avenge her. If I could, I would hug her and tell her she’ll be OK. And if she could, she’d high five me and tell me to go prove our point.

What a team 🙂

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NEW DAY 71: I’ve been thinking…


The past 3 days of 75 Hard have proven far more difficult than expected thanks to some very uncomfortable menstrual complications. In an effort to recast my misery into some form of positives to focus on, I’ve landed in potentially dangerous territory.

Here’s what happened.

I reminded myself how lucky the timing was with my hybrid work schedule, so that my peak suffering days have been wfh and, fortunately, not onsite.

This triggered the memory of the fortuitous timing of how I landed the job in the first place. If not for the exercise and weight loss starting when they did, I wouldn’t have had the confidence — or anything interview-appropriate to wear — while moving through the hiring process. If not for the precipitating chaos that led me to snap into action, I never would have started. If not for… I mean, just how far back do I take this?

It got me stuck in a loop of replaying key moments from the past few months and examining the importance of when they happened. What if the timing had been slightly different? What if just one of the things that led to another, hadn’t happened at all? Where would I be today? How would I be?

And while in this dubiously philosophical pseudo-meditation, a lightning bolt struck: what if I trained for the next city half marathon?

Uh…

Here I am, only 19 days through 75 Hard, and entertaining the possibility of running 13.1 miles just 8 months from now. Ummm, excuse me, me! I would like a word!

That word: HUH?! 😲

One of my coworkers mentioned the other day that she signed up for the halfer on a whim after her doctor told her to get more exercise. Most people would start taking causal walks; this absolute legend decided that the appropriate response was to go from never having run a single mile, to conditioning herself to run half a marathon’s worth in less than a year. And evidently, this airborne insanity has infected me.

But will I actually do it?

Honestly… I might.

Rationality says to make it through the rest of the current challenge I’m just barely 1/4 through before leaping off the next cliff.

Dubiously philosophical pseudo-meditation says that this seed was planted at this time for a reason, and I might as well start training even if I don’t want to take the step of registering for the event right away. After all, I have two guaranteed dedicated workouts a day for at least the next 56 days. Why not incorporate training into those slots?

I’ve found several feasible training programs ranging from 12 weeks to 20 weeks to 6 months. If I started training in September, that would give me 8 full months to coach myself up to half-marathon shape — and be a longer term goal that would have the additional benefit of keeping me focused on movement during the winter months.

There’s a good chance this is happening. Stay tuned.

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NEW DAY 61: Challenge stacking

Hello from day 9 of 75 Hard! I have officially endured the downside of the mandatory outdoor workouts when a thunderstorm with torrential rain rolled in a few minutes into mine yesterday afternoon. It was tragically mistimed, but you know, it was actually not the worst. Granted, I could hardly see or hear my little YouTube instructor from my phone screen that was safely within the shelter of the garage while I was being soaked, but the rain and wind felt nice — certainly a refreshing change from the usual punishing sun and resulting sweat. Rite of passage, check.

Yesterday morning’s (indoor) workout was the hard one. I’ve been trying to add 5 minutes to my elliptical sprints each week, and this week’s time is 35 minutes. I got to minute 20 and the internal whining began. I coaxed and coached myself along, minute by minute, to the finish — and I got there. And now there will be no future resistance, because the jig is up, Self!

I have been slipping into the bad habit of checking the scale every day, so my challenge this week will be not to look at it again until Sunday. That seems like it should be easy compared to the rest of the challenging things I have going on these days, but it’s a real test of will for me right now!

And on that dubiously suspenseful note… ✌️

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NEW DAY 60: Seeing is believing

Another metric is in: restaurant booths.

The last time I went to a certain fast casual chain was July 4th, which was about 6 weeks ago. I had been doing my frantic gym sessions and abrupt sugar detox for roughly 3 weeks at that point, so not much had noticeably changed for me physically yet. On July 4th, I struggled to squeeze into the restaurant booth and my body was touching both the back of the bench and the table throughout the meal — a reality I’d become all to familiar with, in spite of the discomfort.

Fast forward to yesterday when I returned to the scene of the ongoing crime. Several inches separated me from the edge of the table. I can comfortably fit into a booth again.

I had noticed the gradual changes over these past few weeks: more space between my belly and the steering wheel when I drive; less incidental contact with things like walls and furniture; roomier workout shirts; getting into tops that haven’t fit in several years. While my drops in weight haven’t been monumental, the slow slimming down of my figure has. In addition to fat, I was surely carrying a lot of bloat that has finally taken a hike.

I am falling into the trap of feeling frustrated that the number on the scale doesn’t seem to fully match what I’m observing off of it, and I’m trying to temper that as I continue my progress. I will say that the pounds lost aren’t obsessing me the way they used to in previous iterations of this. That tells me this is the healthiest approach I have ever had to getting healthy.

That beats every other metric, every time.

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NEW DAY 57: Loose caboose

We have achieved saggy underwear, people. This is not a drill.

It’s that otherworldly moment of weight loss where somehow the waistband still fits, but the seat has extra room — and that extra room hangs off the booty like it melted. This creates quite the bum conundrum: it’s not ideal to have a bunch of excess material chilling in your pants, but it’s also not quite time for new undies.

And yet, I can’t complain at all. It’s physical evidence that there’s less cushion behind me. Woo! Talk about working your ass off, amirite??

Speaking of which, I am about to end day 5 of 75 Hard. Math tells me that I’m 6.7% of the way to the finish line. I may get there limping, kicking, screaming, and dragging a trail of unfilled panty material behind me, but gosh darn it, I’m gonna get there!

I can’t wait to see what else doesn’t fit by late October. ☺️

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NEW DAY 56: They don’t call it 75 Easy

It’s day 4 of 75 Hard, and boyyyyyy, is it ever! I linked to the rules in my previous post, but here’s the rap down of what I will be doing every day for the next 75 71:

  • Taking a daily full-body progress selfie (for my eyes only)
  • Reading at least 10 pages of a non-fiction book in the vein of self-improvement
  • Drinking 1 gallon (4 litres) of water
  • Not consuming any alcohol
  • Picking a diet to follow and not straying AT ALL (I’m doing 0 added sugar)
  • Working out twice per day for at least 45 minutes each time, 3 hours minimum apart — and one session has to be outdoors, rain or shine

As with Whole 30, these rules are iron clad and the regimen is as strict as it gets. If you fail in any of these components for a given day, you have failed the challenge. If you want to continue, you have to start all over from the very beginning.

It’s mostly carving out the time for all the things plus 2 workouts per day that is throwing me. I’ve been making it work, but it’s been tricky. My body is tired. I have no temptation to give up, but the mental fortitude required to keep going is no joke!

I’ve joined 3 DietBets this week, so I’ ve had a peek at the scale for my weigh-ins. I’m down another couple of pounds since starting 75 Hard. The cool part is that I can actually feel and see it now. Crazy how a couple of pounds can be what it takes to make all the progress suddenly show up! I’m participating in this challenge primarily for psychological soundness reasons, but won’t pretend I’m not excited about the weight loss I’m anticipating by the end.

It feels so good to start believing in myself again.

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NEW DAY 33: Just keep moving

My last two workouts have been tough.

Friday was a real struggle. Not even running as fast as I can/normally do, I started feeling almost queasy with 10 minutes left to go. I powered through it — it took every ounce of mental strength and focus that I had, and I kept going. I did it so I could say I did it, so: I DID IT. I’m proud of myself for getting through that, but it felt rough throughout and for a while after. It left me feeling so icky that I skipped a Sunday workout to try to respond to the message my body seemed to be sending me.

Yesterday, I decided I’d do a 60-minute treadmill walk rather than an elliptical run. At the 50-minute mark, I realized I had a massive blister forming on the ball of my right foot that already hurt and was a big enough bubble that it was making my steps weird, and that was causing discomfort in my hip. I had to stop myself 10 minutes shy of the time I’d wanted to hit. (Luckily, my at-home blister remedies have been effective and the thing is already flat and painless.)

In the interim, I discovered that the cut on my knee has gotten infected. Yay! (I’m treating it now, and I think it’s responding.)

But you know what? It’s not all bad news.

At dinner with a friend on Saturday night, he asked: “Are you losing weight?” I said yes, and I was surprised he could tell. He said it was noticeable in my face.

That’s step 1! Next up: neck and shoulders.

I signed up for a DietBet earlier this month. It was already a week underway when I decided to join, which means I had 25% less time to lose the same 4% of body weight that I would have had if I’d joined at the start date of the game. The weigh-out was today.

I won by 1/2 pound.

It’s working.

**exhale**