NEW DAY 228: I can dig it

It took more than 6 cumulative hours spread across 3 days this week to excavate my driveway. I cleared enough of a path that I can get my car in and out, which amounts to 1,000 cubic feet of snow. Now this tidbit that ChatGPT gave me when I asked for that calculation really blew my mind:

Fresh snow is roughly 7–20 lb per cubic foot depending on density.
That puts your total somewhere between 7,000 and 20,000 pounds moved.

That’s between 3.5 and 10 TONS of snow!

🤯🤯🤯

My arms, wrists, neck, traps, and shoulders were the casualties, with my shoulder blades aching up through and including today — and no wonder, given that information! Thank goodness for weekend getaways that magically include a friend of a friend who moonlights as a massage therapist and had no problem “practicing” on my destroyed muscles! Shout out to Advil PM, too. Oh, and heating pads. Multiple, high-heat, long-lasting heating pads.

I lightly complained about the aching, but to be completely honest, I loved it.
I loved that it hurt.
I loved that it made me tired.
I loved that it was hard.
I loved all of that because none of those things stopped me.

My body did it. My body can do this now. All alone, no help; just me and my determination. That’s months of physical and mental conditioning making a big ol’ flex. And hey, me and my determination? We know how to party.

I know it sounds strange to be genuinely excited about having to toil in single-digit (Fahrenheit) temperatures under dwindling sunlight to shovel snow. I’m not saying it’s my new favorite pastime or that I’m eager to repeat it. What I am saying is that it gives me another giant pile of evidence of how far I’ve come since last year. My body from February of 2025 would not have been up to this task. My body of February 2026 says bring it on.

This was a week of zero half-marathon training or even setting foot in the gym, which also included travel and broken sleep cycles because of my trip. What I got right was staying on track with my eating, even while surrounded by a smorgasbord of snacks and a gaggle of people partaking in them. (I mean, cake, cookies, alcohol, chips… you name it.) I also made sure I got quality movement, even on scheduled rest days that I strategically built in to account for this, so that I would meet my steps every day and not fall short on Power 11. Two mornings in a row, I went running on a frozen beach in 10-degree air, not only keeping myself moving, but deftly avoiding the patches of ice, the deceptively deep snow, and the slippery, iced-over seashells embedded in the congealed sand. My only real exercise other than that was hoofing it through airports and, of course, grueling rounds of digging up snow.

With that backdrop, I was not feeling confident that the scale would be kind at today’s weigh-in. I am driving hard towards my 100-pound milestone, which I want to hit by the 11th. I’m close, but it’s not a lock until it’s a lock — I needed this one to count, even if it’s true I’d be happy with any number that was smaller than last week’s.

Sure enough, the drop I posted was modest: 1.2 pounds.
But a loss is a loss.
And I’m 1.2 pounds closer to my goal.

I can dig it!

NEW DAY 221: Blizzard!

I’m in the huge swath of the US that’s being pummeled with 24+ straight hours of falling snow. As I write this, my internet is verging on an outage that has lasted nearly half the day, so I’m tethering my phone in order to post this lest I fail my Power 11 tasks. BUT dropped wifi is the smallest inconvenience I can imagine of the many that had the potential to occur during this storm, so I am certainly not complaining!

Knowing that this crazy weather event was coming to paralyze us for at least a day or two, I reconfigured my half-marathon training plan to give myself a rest day today, and to make tomorrow a cross-training day so that I can do it from home. (Also, I’m considering the hours of shoveling I’ll be doing tomorrow as upper-body strength training, cuz clearing an entire driveway of a foot of heavy, wet snow is nothing if not a workout.) It kinda stinks to miss this stretch of days from actual proper running, but them’s the breaks. I’m adapting as best I can and staying active even if it looks different from “usual”. Between the snow and my end-of-week travel, this whole week is going to require some creative license, so it’ll be an adventure.

It can be a chore to coax myself out the door for a gym session sometimes, but truly the toughest piece of Power 11 so far has been limiting my weight checks to once per week. It’s been getting slightly easier, but sometimes the urge to peek is pretty strong, especially when I suspect I’ll like what I see. I’ve been noticing a lot of physical changes lately, which is usually an indicator of a friendly upcoming scale reading, so I was highly anticipating today’s weigh-in. Sure enough, I posted a drop of 3.4 lbs for this week!

This means a few big things:

  1. I am currently at my lowest weight in 10 years. My all-time lowest (real-adult) weight was from March 1st of 2016.
    • I’m 12.6 lbs away from that number.
    • By March 1st of this year, I should be below it. (🤯)
    • I will be below it.
  2. I am only 3.8 lbs away from being 100 lbs down from my highest recent weight, recorded about 11 months ago.
    • If I hit that milestone by a specific date within the next 3 weeks, it will be the ultimate redemption for me.
    • I’m comfortably on track to do it.
    • I’m gonna do it.
  3. I’m within spitting distance of Onederland. (Actual pounds away: 5.2 lbs. And now you know how much I weigh. And have weighed. 🫣)
    • Yeah — I unhid my weight on DietBet the other day.
    • I don’t have a specifically meaningful date in mind for this, but it’ll be sometime next month.
    • Something’s getting pierced after that.

I’d say I can’t believe it, except I totally can. My body is sore all over in that satisfying way that whispers, “yes, you did run 5 elliptical miles and then do 30 minutes of strength training yesterday.” My obliques are the sorest part of me, and that’s purely from actual running.

It feels so good to feel sore. I’m getting smaller, yes, but I’m also getting stronger and fitter. THAT’S what this type of soreness means. It means results. It means effectiveness. It means payoff.

Since I got serious about my health in mid-June of last year, I have lost 76.6 pounds. When June rolls back around this year, I will have lost more than 100 lbs, completed 75 Hard, finished Power 11, and crossed the finish line of a freakin’ half-marathon — all since the previous June.

January-2025 Me wouldn’t recognize Present-Day Me — physically or otherwise.

And that’s fucking transformation, baby.

NEW DAY 217: Walk on

Today was my prescribed rest day for this week of Power 11. It came at a good time; each ankle had its own special little tantrum at different moments last night, so it was a well-timed moment for a break. I did end up doing 20 minutes on my walking pad at home after work, though, to make sure I hit my daily steps goal for the day. While doing that, I had a realization: my balance has crazy improved.

My first foray into the world of the walking pad was back in the fall when I was doing 75 Hard. My first walk, and all those I did subsequently, were unsteady. It wasn’t so much a walk as a stagger, like that fool at the office holiday party who had more than one too many trips to the spiked punch bowl and is in no way pulling off the ruse. I had to hold on to my raised standing desk just to make sure I didn’t tumble off backwards or sideways, even for a short walk at a low speed.

Today, for the first time, I didn’t have to hold on. I walked briskly (3.4 mph) for 20 minutes with zero contact — and, more excitingly, zero swerves or stumbles.

It’s not just that my balance has improved; my stamina and strength have, too. I am no longer the spitting image of a failed DUI traffic stop when I take to the walking pad; I’m a woman with purpose.

Fitting, after a year of staggering through uncertainty and hoping — and then working hard — to regain my footing.

Speaking of fitting, I used my lunch break today to take a tour of my “before” pieces. These relics of my most-enormous size are the equivalent of snacking on grapes when what you really want is M&Ms: because I am only weighing myself once a week on Power 11, I can’t sneak a peek at the scale on days when I’m feeling curious. (There’s a reason for this: I’m trying to break my obsession with that number so it won’t become my whole worth. I say this while actively working towards a rather aggressive goal with a deadline that’s precisely 3 weeks away, but I digress.) Instead of indulging my curiosity, I try on the couple of articles of clothing I’ve held on to that remind me of where I started, so I can see how far I’ve come.

Today, I fit into one leg of my size 24 “before” pants. And after stepping into it (still zipped) through the neck, my “before” dress slid off my shoulders and right onto the floor.

Funny how that instantly killed any interest I had in what the scale might have had to say.

And so I walk on… with purpose.

NEW DAY 214: Power 11, week 1

Hello from Power 11, day 8! I just completed my weekly tasks and am taking a beat to catch up on some chores while my lunch digests, before I head to the gym for my half-marathon training session and then an early dinner with a friend. Since I started this challenge last week, I have lost 5.25 inches and 6.4 pounds. This may seem high, which is why context is important: I had period bloat when I weighed in last Sunday, as well as a cold — so that likely artificially inflated some of my starting numbers. There’s also a known phenomenon that the first week of any major diet and exercise regimen shows a huge change that typically levels out in a lower second week. The true reflection of what may be “normal” typically appears in week 3. That said, I put in the work this week and my effort mattered. I feel encouraged by these early signs of progress and am looking forward to continuing to chart my progress for the remaining 10 weeks.

I’ve kept on track with the rest of the challenge, too. Separating the selfies and metrics into a once-weekly task has been a notable plus for me so far, and I’ve had a manageable time with hitting my daily goals. Since I’ve been getting over a cold this week, it hasn’t been the most favorable moment to do any extra workouts, but I look forward to feeling more energized so that I can incorporate a few bonus outdoor walks into my days here and there; I found the fresh-air activity so beneficial to me during 75 Hard. Winter is wintering pretty hard out there, but I enjoy time in the elements, irrespective of the season (albeit with more whining involved during summer months)! My recovery should be complete pretty soon thanks to some extra rest I’ve been able to get, which I would not have been able to get on 75 Hard.

It hasn’t been easy to come up with the motivation to get my ass in gear every day, but I’ve found ways to do it. My commitment is firm, and it helps to know that I always feel good after a workout.

I’m excited to see what results this challenge yields on day 78! Until then, it’s go, go, go.

NEW DAY 210: Probationary period

I started a new job this week. It’s been a wonderful experience so far, and has been living up to all my hopes and excitement from the interview process. As luck would have it, my body chose Sunday — the day before my first day and the actual first day of Power 11 — to come down with a head cold.

It chose today to start my period.

Last year, before June, I had exactly two periods. That’s it. For 5 months. They were long, heavy, painful, and obviously irregular.
Starting in (and including) June, I had 7. The first 3 were still irregularly timed and chaotic, but I’ve had one every month since October now, with only one of them being debilitatingly heavy.

This is a very big deal.

I have never had naturally regular periods, even as a teen or young adult. In college, I was diagnosed with PCOS, which — cruelly — both exacerbates and is exacerbated by obesity. For unrelated medical reasons, I’ve been off the pill for several years and can never again take hormonal birth control, so my body and I have been trying to navigate my erratic cycle on our own since then.

It has not gone well.
Until now…?

With my age (fertility-old), size (still big), and health (PCOS doesn’t magically go away), I never imagined that my periods would one day regulate themselves. I almost added the phrase “without intervention” to that sentence, but in fact, there has been an intervention: I broke up with sugar.

Sugar is a known hormone disruptor, and I’ve been poisoning myself with it for my entire life. Just 7 months into a drastic sugar redulction, and my grateful physiology was like “THANK YOU, I will now immediately repair decades of damage in a shockingly small fraction of that time!” I’m on a whole deep dive with this right now that I will spare anyone reading this from spiraling into with me, but suffice it to say this is a rich topic. The superstitious part of me hesitates to pronounce anything actually “healed” when it comes to my reproductive health, but something has been mended. Even if that’s not the case, all the symptoms of improvement are there, and the only thing that’s changed has been how I care for my physical health. Exercise has certainly been a positive factor contributing to this development, but I’m convinced it has a majority to do with nutrition.

Whether or not the return of my regular, naturally occurring periods is a fluke, I am happy and relieved about it. But I’d call 6+ months a pretty long probation. I hope my normal cycle still going strong by the time I’m no longer “new” in my job — and well beyond then.

Welcome back from probation, period. Most women won’t relate to this, but… I missed you.

NEW DAY 207: Power 11

Inspired by true events, I have developed a spin-off series for the next 11 weeks of my life: Power 11.

The idea for this type of project came from a need I’ve felt to reset after my end-of-year travel. It was a vacation not just from real life, but from responsibility, routine, and regulation. I didn’t go crazy by any means — in fact, I continued to exercise most days while visiting people overseas whom I haven’t seen in years, even setting a new PBR in walking speed (3.7 mph) and continuous treadmill running (20 minutes) before 2025 was out. However, I did allow myself to not obsess over nutrition, sleep cycles, or half-marathon training. I decided instead to trust myself to respect my body’s limits by simply remaining attuned to its signals, knowing that I would be able to resume my regimen when I returned home.

This sparked my realization that there are tons of parallels between this recent trip and the one I took in the summer. In both cases, I:

  • Made long-overdue reconnections with people I love in places I know for 2+ weeks
  • Was heading out with a job offer I’d be starting a few days after coming back
  • Felt the importance of needing to cement a structure for myself that would continue prioritizing my mental and physical health while allowing me to adjust to a new professional setting and schedule

I started 75 Hard on a lark with barely 24 hours’ lead time to prepare back in August. In spite of the suddenness of that decision, the challenge not only served me well structurally, but it was also an unqualified success overall. With that knowledge, I figured the time was right for another program — but this time, with modifications that make more sense for my purposes without letting me off the hook for what makes 75 Hard, hard.

Here’s what I came up with:

DAILY TASKS

  1. TRAINING
    I will follow my half-marathon training plan to the letter every day. Each week includes 4 days of run training, 1 day of strength training, 1 day of cross-training, and 1 day of no training (rest). I tweak the plan at the start of each week and/or as needed in response to things like schedule changes, weather, injury, etc. There has to be reasonable flexibility because life be life-ing. The important thing is that I stay committed to building my endurance so that I will be ready come race day.
    Differences from 75 Hard: Only one workout per day. If I do another movement session because I feel like it, that’s fine, but it is NOT a requirement. It is likewise not a requirement for any additional daily workouts to be 3 hours apart from the other(s). There is no mandatory outdoor exercise stipulation as part of this plan, but my half-marathon training plan will start to include outdoor sessions as the race approaches.
  2. MOVEMENT
    I will meet my daily steps goal, including on rest days (more on that below).
    Differences from 75 Hard: This is not part of that program.
  3. DIET
    Instead of observing a zero-tolerance policy on added sugar*, I will follow a refined — pun mostly intended — sugar restriction plan of no desserts, no sweetened drinks, and no simple carbs. In foods I prepare myself, there will be NO added sugar. In all other cases, I will consciously choose options with as little sugar as possible, to the best of my ability to ascertain it. (I would prefer to do no sugar at all, but it’s simply too restrictive to be practical.)
    “Sugar” includes sugar substitutes, which are just as bad, if not worse.
    Differences from 75 Hard: This component of 75 Hard is customizable, so different people create different rules.
  4. WATER
    I will drink at least 1 gallon of water every day.
    Differences from 75 Hard: None.
  5. ALCOHOL
    No alcohol consumption. This almost goes without saying since all alcohol contains sugar, but as I’m doing **restricted** sugar, I’m keeping it as its own rule.
    Differences from 75 Hard: None.

WEEKLY TASKS

  1. REST
    In a total deviation from 75 Hard, my program requires one day off from exercise per week. Bodies need rest, especially bodies training for long-distance runs while aiming to avoid and prevent injuries. Recovery is just as important as getting after it.
    Differences from 75 Hard: 75 Hard allows zero rest days throughout the program, and any day off constitutes a failure of the challenge.
  2. READING
    I never fully understood the reading component of 75 Hard, but I did come to appreciate the enforced quiet time to focus on something other than “toughness”. In addition to trying to incorporate more stillness into my life, and as a nod to the 2026 Book Bingo challenge I am participating in, I’ve included a reading task in my Power 11 challenge.
    Differences from 75 Hard: I am only requiring it once a week rather than every day. I must read, uninterrupted by phone checks or randomly getting up and wandering around, for at least 30 minutes at some point during the day. “Uninterrupted” also means “not while on an exercise machine” — the point is stillness, and that means dedicated time with undivided attention. I can read more than once a week, but the time commitment and focus rules are only required once a week. Finally, I can read any genre I want; it doesn’t have to be non-fiction or have a self-improvement bent.
  3. WRITING
    I will make at least two blog posts per week. This gives me positive reinforcement for my mental health and fitness efforts while also providing an outlet for my always-buzzing brain.
    Differences from 75 Hard: This is not part of that program.
  4. PROGRESS PHOTOS
    I found the daily progress selfies to be the most annoying part of 75 Hard — and complete overkill. I do like the idea of being able to track the physical changes through photographic evidence, though, so I’m keeping it as a weekly action. I’m also explicitly stipulating both a head-on pic and a pic in profile each week.
    Differences from 75 Hard: Weekly instead of daily, and with two different views/angles rather than leaving this unspecified.
  5. MEASUREMENTS
    I will record the circumferences of my ankle, calf, thigh, waist, hips, bust, neck, tricep, forearm, wrist, and ring finger. (Perhaps excessive, but what can I say? I like data.)
    Differences from 75 Hard: This is not part of that program.
  6. WEIGHT TRACKING
    I will weigh myself every Sunday and record that number as my official weight for the week. I will NOT weigh myself more often than that, unless I have a weigh-in or weigh-out for a DietBet that does not fall on a Sunday.
    Differences from 75 Hard: This is not part of that program.

As with 75 Hard, any missed task for the day or week, for any reason, constitutes a failure and ends the challenge immediately. If I want to complete the challenge after a failure, I will have to start over at day one the next day. This is the same as 75 Hard.

You may be wondering: why the fixation on 11? Well, it wasn’t exactly intentional — but it also wasn’t exactly coincidental.

Something that bugged me about 75 Hard was that the first day post-challenge couldn’t mathematically fall on the same day of the week as the starting day. That means that the timeline for the full dataset of the final “week” of the challenge is 29% shorter than every other week. As I said, I like data, and this inconsistency is super annoying. In order for my program to comprise full weeks for a comparable duration, it would need to be 70 days or 77 days long. I went with 77, because why lower the bar? But I didn’t want to name it something based on the days; I wanted it to be based on the weeks. And that’s how it hit me that what I created is an eleven-week challenge.

I had also already planned to begin with day one as today: the 11th of January — because I want to start on a weigh-in day (which has always been Sunday for me), and have a weigh-in day also be my first post-challenge day when all the results would be locked. The number 11 has become significant in my autobiographical mythology this past year, so this seemed like a powerful connection. And that’s how Power 11 got its name.

From there, I noticed that my program had a list of 10 to-dos and 9 body measurements to track. Full disclosure: I did add one rule (no alcohol) and two measurements (hips and ring finger) to get to 11 of each. Hokey? Sure. Too hokey? Not for this girl.

And now that I’ve blogged (✅), it’s time for the official “before” measurements and selfies! See you back here again at least once more this week, like a good little rule follower.

Here we go again!

NEW DAY 206: Hindsight is 2025

Last year was easily one of the worst of my life.

I spent the first few months of the year navigating sudden change, loss, and pain. I had concurrent health setbacks, financial hardship, and broken confidence that were exacerbated by that situation. I was completely demoralized and in absolute misery. It took months of hard work to get back on my feet, both figuratively and literally.

It was ugly.
It was painful.
I struggled through it.
But I did it.

Finally, in June, I had my turning point. I had put enough distance between myself and the traumatic events — as well as enough effort into recovering from them — that I was ready to take my power back. I embraced the idea of saying yes and dedicated the rest of the year to the things I wanted to reclaim: my story, my happiness, my strength, and my agency. The key to this was my mental health, and the key to that was my physical health. That’s how, just a little more than 7 short months ago, I found myself tentatively skulking back into the gym and telling myself I needed to make it through just 5 minutes on the elliptical. At the time, I could scarcely trek the distance from my parking space to the gym without getting winded, so that seemed like a tall order. And it was.

It was ugly.
It was painful.
I struggled through it.
But I did it.

And I kept doing it. For the rest of the year.

That has enabled me to experience a normal quality of life again. In the past 3 weeks alone, I have traveled internationally (via airplane in an economy class seat whose seatbelt I easily buckled for the first time in over a year), run 20 continuous minutes while on vacation, and completed a hilly outdoor 5K (walking). To say these things would have been impossible at this time last year is so true that it feels like it could somehow be an understatement. But in the here and now? It was a breeze, and I didn’t have to think about it at all in real time.

I can’t imagine myself ever being grateful for what happened to me as a result of others’ decisions in early 2025. None of it was logical, fair, or deserved. Part of me is still in disbelief about it. But I am grateful for what I ultimately decided to do about it. And I fully intend to continue along that path in 2026.

If the theme of last year was Reclaim and Recover, this year is about integration. All of the lessons I’ve learned and strides I’ve made for my health have been important, but isolating that progress from the precipitating events is not sustainable. I have to make peace with the past in order to advance towards the future I want. The only way to do that is by accepting and processing it all — not just from last year, but from all the years that came before it that I’m still carrying in the remaining extra weight on my body.

It’s time to really heal.

It might be ugly.
It might be painful.
I might struggle through it.
But I will do it.

NEW DAY 159: Roller coastering

As much as last Sunday was unintentionally awesome, last Wednesday was unintentionally horrendous.

Between manufactured work drama (and the resulting stress), exhaustion from barely sleeping the previous few nights, and life life-ing, the day didn’t really stand much of a chance. Unfortunately, it culminated in an ankle injury when I tried to mitigate all of that by running outside before I was ready. So yeah, it found a way to get worse!

It’s my fault I tweaked my always-ready-to-act-up ankle. Having only myself to blame makes the thing that made it all worse, worse.

I’ll skip the part where I whine for several days about being sidelined and losing the centerpiece of my emotional regulation while my angry ankle threw its tantrum. I made a wise adult decision and gave myself the day off on Thursday to rest, in every sense. It was the best choice I could have made, and I am beyond glad I made it.

The week ended on a decisive upswing, but I had to continue to pause my half marathon training to ensure I wouldn’t aggravate my temperamental joint, which hurt well into the weekend. Today, I finally felt it was strong enough to tolerate an outdoor walk on the hilly trails, and it seems to be holding up well in the aftermath so far — even after walking the long path the fastest I ever have. If I have no protests from it the rest of the day, I’m going to take myself back to the gym tonight. I don’t want to push too hard, but I really don’t want to lose more training days than necessary, either.

I did get some good news today: I won my Kickstarter that ended yesterday, AND the DietBet scrutiny has been lifted!

It doesn’t even stop there for DB, although this next bit of good news is qualified:

This is my current progress for the Transformer that ends on February 10th. Looks pretty great, right? But here’s why it’s qualified:

It’s currently about halfway through round 4, and I’ve lost 20% of my starting weight as of this morning’s DB weigh-out for that Kickstarter. I am nowhere near the risk of losing 12% within a single month, but I’m looking out to that round 6 disqualification figure and seeing the very real possibility of exceeding the 30% drop limit by that point. The math maths.

HOWEVER…

It’s not a foregone conclusion. There are some major holidays coming up between now and then, as well as a 2-week trip I’m taking at the end of the year. There’s not so much a threat to my eating as there is to my normal activity level, but it could be enough to put the brakes on. Plus, this progress will naturally hit the skids at some point. When I start strength training, building muscle will slow the drops on the scale. And just generally speaking, this clip is unsustainable. Or at least, you’d think so — but bodies seem to REALLY hate sugar, and they party like crazy when it’s gone. With very little exercise between my Sunday-to-Sunday weigh-in days, mine still coughed up 4.2 lbs. I’m not saying I wasn’t still making an effort during what felt a bit like a lost week, but it was not the level of intensity I’d planned when it started, and still this big number showed up for me.

Anyway, I’ll be keeping an eye on all of this, of course. It’s a lot to manage, but hey — that’s life life-ing for ya.

NEW DAY 146: Too fast?

Last week, when I was weighing out for a Kickstarter, I got an email from DietBet saying that their algorithm had “flagged [my] account due to unusual weight loss patterns.” At first, I was kind of offended. How dare they impugn my integrity! Then I paused and realized… yeah, dropping 45 pounds in 3 months is a reasonable thing to raise a non-sentient eyebrow over. And that’s only the weight loss they can see; from late February to the time of my composing this sentence, I’ve actually lost 80.4 lbs.

It made me step back and ask myself if I’m doing this right. I’ve been operating from a standpoint of prioritizing mental health, and treating the weight loss as secondary (although actively encouraged). Is it healthy to see this kind of change this quickly? My Transformer progress chart, updated as of this morning’s weigh-in for round 3, is pretty staggering. If my weight loss continues at this clip, I could lose more than 30% of my body weight within the DB’s 6-month window and wind up disqualified from winning. I crunched, re-crunched, and even snap-crackle-popped the numbers because I couldn’t believe it — but it’s a very real possibility unless I slow down. (I know you can’t see any pounds in my screenshot, but you don’t need them to understand what’s going on here. For reference, the final 2 diamond points on the chart represent the overall target goal of -10% of my starting weight. I am well below that line already, and we’re only halfway through as of this moment.)

The answer to that question is yes. I have not done anything unhealthy in service of my goals. I have prioritized my exercise time and treated it as sacrosanct. I have honored my nutritional needs so that I am fueling my body, not poisoning it. I have been cognizant of getting proper rest and enough sleep so that I don’t tear myself down. I am taking in enough calories and macros. I am not engaging in obsessive behaviors with the scale or at the gym. And very importantly, I do not have any disordered eating habits pointing to bulimia or anorexia.

The biggest change I’ve made is quitting sugar. Rapid weight loss is what happens when you quit sugar after a lifetime of ingesting every crystal of it in sight. Period, the end.

I expect my weight loss will slow, and it will be maddening when that happens — this quick progression has spoiled me. I don’t mean to suggest it hasn’t come with effort on my part; it certainly has. It’s very difficult to cut out sugar entirely, and it takes me a lot of time to meal prep every week even with just trying to keep my sugar intake low rather than zero. I spend a good amount of time each week on physical activity, too. But as the truism goes, you can’t outrun a bad diet. Never has my body been so grateful as it has these past few months that I’ve let it detox from the white stuff. I’d choose this feeling over a decadent dessert any time, every time, over and over again.

So I feel ok that I now have to submit to an extra level of scrutiny during my DietBet weight checks until they remove the flag on my account. It turns out that it’s not any more annoying to record a video of myself getting on the scale than it is to take 2 still photos. In fact, I may actually prefer the video method. It’s hard to complain when my body is this happy.

Over the weekend, I had two other affirming experiences that underscore the positive ways my body is reflecting the changes I’m making. First, I had a haircut on Saturday — my first since the very first week of this whole NEW DAY chapter of my life. My stylist, not having seen me since 58 pounds ago, not only remarked on how great she thought I looked and nearly jumped out of her skin when I answered her question about how much I’d lost, but she also said my hair looks healthier than ever. It’s gotten a little thicker and is growing more quickly. That’s not something I expected to be possible after a certain age, but she couldn’t get over the difference.

The other experience was going for reflexology massages with a friend. We were unexpectedly made to strip down to the waist when it was time for the deep tissue massage, which we were having done in the same room. In the past, I would have lobbied to keep my clothes on, thankyouverymuch. Not this time. Bye bye, shirt and bra. It’s not exactly a smoke show under there, but it’s not a paralyzing source of shame in front of a bunch of other women anymore. And hey, I have had so much relief from that massage in the days since: greater range of motion in my neck, no stiffness in my ankles in the mornings, less soreness in my shoulders. Worth it.

I also found 2 pairs of pants on clearance over the weekend which were a size down, but I bought them anyway because I keep pantsing myself when I walk. My best estimate was I’d be about 2-3 weeks out from wearing either of them, and I’d fill the gap with skirts and dresses (brrr!) until then.

About an hour ago, I tried one of the pairs on.

They fit.

I cried.

Happy body, happy tears. And none too soon.

Last night was the first night of my half marathon training. It went well, but this is gonna suuuuuuuck.

I came right home and officially registered for the event.

I can’t wait. 😁

NEW DAY 129: 75-Hardened

I am officially 75 Hard verified.
🎈I did it!🎈

75 Hard truly lives up to its classification as a challenge: it is challenging. For me, it was not consistently so for the duration, but it had some distinct hallmarks of difficulty that really put me through my paces. The general breakdown was:

First third (days 1-25): Acclimation blossoming into excitement
The early days of adjustment were a little tricky. Day 4, I remember, was my hardest day. I barely slept the night before on top of trying to adapt to the rigor of twice-daily workouts while still living in an extra-obese body. After I made it through that day, I felt unstoppable. The remainder of this third after that was actually fun for me; I looked forward to both of my workouts each day, put tons of thought and care into my meal planning, and found pleasure in reconnecting with my Kindle even though what I was reading wasn’t particularly inspiring. I felt motivated and full of energy. I even remarked to my co-participant friend that I was glad we still had 50 days to go, because the normal 30-day length of most challenges seemed insufficient for experiencing any meaningful changes on this challenge. This was the honeymoon phase for sure, and in retrospect, it’s pretty great that it went on for a full third of the 75-day runtime.

Second third (days 26-50): Excitement converting into routine
As the novelty wore off, building my days around the essential aspects of 75 Hard became second nature to me. The luster of “OMG, I’m doing a beastly job of owning this thing like a badass!” gave way to more of an automatic process with no fanfare. I still embraced checking off my daily to-dos, but with a little less enthusiasm. In terms of the unexpected, this was the hardest part of the challenge for me: I got sick for a seemingly interminable duration (actual time: 14 human days) and felt completely drained from the resulting lack of sleep. However, this was also my most productive and milestone-laden third: I broke 5 miles on the elliptical for the first time in 7 years, and even hit a new personal best record of 6 miles while nearing the end of my sickness. It’s perhaps no wonder that the final third was so energy sapping.

Third third (days 51-75): Routine devolving into slog
It wasn’t a daily internal struggle to force myself into action, but I rarely welcomed workout #2 and found it harder to get energized for those early-morning outdoor workouts in the dark (and increasing cold) on my commuting days. I loved the way being 100% sugar free felt throughout the challenge, but the work required to keep it out of my way by some incidental contact was tiresome, and I resented how difficult it was (and the fact that it shouldn’t be — sardonic thanks to the SAD). As strongly as I believed 30 days wasn’t enough in the beginning, I believed 75 was pushing towards the “too long” side of things by this stage.

In terms of the 75 Hard components, my takeaways go a little something like this:

READING
This was my least-favorite part for the majority of the earlier days of 75 Hard. The problem was that I used the reading requirement as a way to force myself to read things I “should” rather than things I was truly interested in. I finally started reading what was truly of interest in the waning days of the second third, and it (unsurprisingly) made all the difference. My obvious advise to someone considering doing 75 Hard? Pick books you really want to read.

WATER
From day 1, this was the easiest part of my challenge. I’m a freak of nature who has been guzzling water at a high quantity for more than 20 years, so incorporating this aspect required zero extra effort from me; getting a gallon’s worth every day was already part of my life. I know what an advantage that is, because this is the part of 75 Hard that I’ve heard the most people complain about. It was certainly nice to have a piece of this be easy! If I had to give any advice to someone trying to adapt to consuming a gallon of water each day, I’d say try to get the first 25% out of the way before you even have breakfast — or at least before you finish breakfast. (I say 25% because I drink 4 32-oz bottles of water each day, which equals exactly one gallon; your mileage and calculations may vary depending on the size of your receptacle.) You’re dehydrated when you wake up, anyway; this will do you the favor not only of rehydrating yourself, but also of curbing your hunger early on and setting the tone for the rest of the day. Plus, it makes for lighter lifting on the water front as your day goes on. Oh, and get a bottle with a straw. Lack of straw makes life harder.

SELFIES
The dreaded confrontation of your seemingly changeless physical appearance. I didn’t love doing this, but I got used to it — and learned not to look at the pic again once it was safely saved. My guidance about this is to do it exactly this way. Also, wear workout clothes in each photo so it’s easier to see the body beneath them; wearing street clothes makes you look different every day as it is, and those clothes hang on you differently depending on cut, style, etc. Athletic clothes are form fitting, so when you actually do finally go back and review your progress photos, you will have an easier time seeing the changes. The one thing I wish I’d done that I didn’t was take pictures in profile as well as straight on, so I’d add that to my recommendations for this aspect.

FOOD
This is the element of 75 Hard that is customizable: you choose your meal plan at the beginning and never stray from it. I chose to consume no added sugar. I had been doing this inconsistently in the days leading up to my early-June reawakening to physical self-care, but got away from it during my 2-week vacation at the end of July and wanted to firmly commit to it. It was tough chiefly in terms of logistics, as I’ve already lamented plenty of times. I feel GREAT not having that toxic chemical in my body: I have no wild energy spikes and crashes, my teeth never feel filmy, everything has a greater depth of taste, I am more in control of my emotions (which are more naturally regulated without that grainy white poisin coursing through my veins), and my skin looks and feels amazing. I would sincerely love to be sugar free indefinitely; I’ll continue to avoid it as much as possible. To anyone considering starting 75 Hard, I’d encourage you to follow a diet that you’ve always wanted to try — but that only has one element to it: No carbs. No eating after 7 PM. 100 grams of protein a day. No added sugar. I would strongly discourage trying something like Whole 30 for 75 days; it’s both far too long for that madness, and far too many dietary requirements to manage, which is the last thing you’re gonna feel like doing when you’re already juggling multiple components of 75 Hard.

WORKOUTS
There’s not much more I would say here that I didn’t mention above. Keeping variety in my exercise made it sustainable and predominantly enjoyable throughout my experience. It’s exactly what I would advise for anyone doing 75 Hard. That also forced me to push myself past my comfort zone and try out different exercises. There were still plenty of days when I really had to harangue myself into doing my workout at least once — and I mean, I really didn’t have the drive to do it some days — but I did it. It’s well worth adding that I always felt good after every working, not least of all those I was resistant to doing in the first place. My body absolutely needed a rest by the end, and I felt that all over, but I never gave in to that feeling. Sticking to the twice-daily workouts is the proudest part of my success on this challenge for me.

MY TOOLS FOR SUCCESS

  • Daily checklist. At the very beginning of the challenge, I used a blank 2-page spread in an old date book to create a task tracker for each day of 75 Hard. This was an instant staple of my daily routine, ensuring that I never missed completing any of my daily tasks. There are tons of templates online, but I enjoyed making and using my own.
  • Accountability. I started the challenge with another person, and also made it known to people I see/spend time with often that I was doing this. That made it easier to stick to my routine, especially my meal plan.
  • “No excuses” mentality. I made a commitment to do this challenge, and to finish it. I entered it willingly and with full knowledge that it would require a lot of time and a lot of planning. There was no reason I couldn’t hack it; I am responsible for myself, and no one else depends on me. (People with family members who rely on them or seriously overfilled dance cards, I don’t know how you manage to do 75 Hard. Truly.) With intentionality and organization, there was no problem that a little organization couldn’t solve. That doesn’t mean it was easy, but my zero-tolerance policy on copping out was iron clad from the beginning. I whined sometimes, but I never sought a way off the hook.
  • Insisting on fun. Sure, it’s a challenge, but that doesn’t mean fun is off the table! In fact, amusement becomes all the more important when you are pushing yourself to do hard things. When the grind got stale, I did what I could to infuse novelty. Finding new places to do the same outdoor workout, trying new types of exercises, listening to new playlists — the experimentation was all worthwhile, and ultimately necessary.

You may be wondering about my actual results from 75 Hard. I was really eager to see them myself! So, without further ado…

THE STATS
Workouts: 150 (4 rainy)
Progress pics: 75
Gallons of water: 85+
Days sick: 14
MPH increased, treadmill walking pace: .5 mile (from 2.6 to 3.1 mph)
Minutes on elliptical without stopping: doubled from 30 to 60
Books read: 7.5
Rest days: 0
Alcohol consumed: 0
Added sugar consumed: 0
DietBets won: 6 kickstarters and 2 rounds of a transformer
Weight lost: 38.8 pounds

THE OVERALL/FINAL THOUGHTS
I’m not going to say that I can’t believe I did it. I can believe it, and I knew I would. It was hard and I did it anyway. It got harder and I toughed it out. That feels flippin’ great.

Doing this did teach me a lot, though, and not just about “mental toughness”.
The rigidity of the challenge’s parameters forced me to be flexible when unforeseen events disrupted my plans: I learned to tap into my patience when that happened.
The inevitability of discoverability of my doing this because of my crazy schedule and highly conspicuous nutritional needs necessitated that I share my endeavor with those around me: I learned to show a little vulnerability by allowing people in on this adventure, and also learned that this is a form of support that ended up benefiting me.
Working out so much doubled my daily opportunity for stress regulation AND for the flow state that comes from that mental clarity: I learned cleaner ways of problem solving, and also learned that this is a conduit of creativity for me.
Eliminating sugar got me hyper-focused on diet and nourishment: I learned a ton of scientific and historical information that made me a better-informed consumer and minder of my own health.
The list could go on.

And stats-wise? Ohhhhh, yeah — I’m very pleased with my showing. I had hoped to hit a nice round 40 pounds lost, but 38.8 is nothing to sneeze at. Being clean of sugar feels outstanding, as does having read so many books and completing 150 (!) workouts. What feels best, though, is seeing the difference on the face of Day 13 Me and Day 62 Me. Yes, there’s a lot that’s noteworthy in the comparison between my progress pics from day 1 vs day 75, but the stark contrast and the unexpectedness of seeing it for the first time when I happened to look at 13/62 side by side while the challenge was still on, was a key moment of 75 Hard for me — and, truthfully, of my health journey overall. I hope that as my hard work continues, I will continue to see a discernible shift in my natural expression that indicates a positive adjustment in my mental health. That’s the real prize in all of this, and the one I’m most eager to wrap my arms around.

So, I can now say for the rest of my days that I am a 75 Hard finisher. No technicalities. No exceptions. No loopholes. No ifs, ands, or buts. Just earned bragging rights for life. I almost typed “And that’s enough — no need to do it again!” Then I remembered I’m half cracked, and I should never say never.

Because another thing I never thought I’d say is, “and now, I turn my attention to training for a half-marathon!” But here I am. Saying that.

But first: rest.