Tag Archives: changes

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NEW DAY 129: 75-Hardened

I am officially 75 Hard verified.
🎈I did it!🎈

75 Hard truly lives up to its classification as a challenge: it is challenging. For me, it was not consistently so for the duration, but it had some distinct hallmarks of difficulty that really put me through my paces. The general breakdown was:

First third (days 1-25): Acclimation blossoming into excitement
The early days of adjustment were a little tricky. Day 4, I remember, was my hardest day. I barely slept the night before on top of trying to adapt to the rigor of twice-daily workouts while still living in an extra-obese body. After I made it through that day, I felt unstoppable. The remainder of this third after that was actually fun for me; I looked forward to both of my workouts each day, put tons of thought and care into my meal planning, and found pleasure in reconnecting with my Kindle even though what I was reading wasn’t particularly inspiring. I felt motivated and full of energy. I even remarked to my co-participant friend that I was glad we still had 50 days to go, because the normal 30-day length of most challenges seemed insufficient for experiencing any meaningful changes on this challenge. This was the honeymoon phase for sure, and in retrospect, it’s pretty great that it went on for a full third of the 75-day runtime.

Second third (days 26-50): Excitement converting into routine
As the novelty wore off, building my days around the essential aspects of 75 Hard became second nature to me. The luster of “OMG, I’m doing a beastly job of owning this thing like a badass!” gave way to more of an automatic process with no fanfare. I still embraced checking off my daily to-dos, but with a little less enthusiasm. In terms of the unexpected, this was the hardest part of the challenge for me: I got sick for a seemingly interminable duration (actual time: 14 human days) and felt completely drained from the resulting lack of sleep. However, this was also my most productive and milestone-laden third: I broke 5 miles on the elliptical for the first time in 7 years, and even hit a new personal best record of 6 miles while nearing the end of my sickness. It’s perhaps no wonder that the final third was so energy sapping.

Third third (days 51-75): Routine devolving into slog
It wasn’t a daily internal struggle to force myself into action, but I rarely welcomed workout #2 and found it harder to get energized for those early-morning outdoor workouts in the dark (and increasing cold) on my commuting days. I loved the way being 100% sugar free felt throughout the challenge, but the work required to keep it out of my way by some incidental contact was tiresome, and I resented how difficult it was (and the fact that it shouldn’t be — sardonic thanks to the SAD). As strongly as I believed 30 days wasn’t enough in the beginning, I believed 75 was pushing towards the “too long” side of things by this stage.

In terms of the 75 Hard components, my takeaways go a little something like this:

READING
This was my least-favorite part for the majority of the earlier days of 75 Hard. The problem was that I used the reading requirement as a way to force myself to read things I “should” rather than things I was truly interested in. I finally started reading what was truly of interest in the waning days of the second third, and it (unsurprisingly) made all the difference. My obvious advise to someone considering doing 75 Hard? Pick books you really want to read.

WATER
From day 1, this was the easiest part of my challenge. I’m a freak of nature who has been guzzling water at a high quantity for more than 20 years, so incorporating this aspect required zero extra effort from me; getting a gallon’s worth every day was already part of my life. I know what an advantage that is, because this is the part of 75 Hard that I’ve heard the most people complain about. It was certainly nice to have a piece of this be easy! If I had to give any advice to someone trying to adapt to consuming a gallon of water each day, I’d say try to get the first 25% out of the way before you even have breakfast — or at least before you finish breakfast. (I say 25% because I drink 4 32-oz bottles of water each day, which equals exactly one gallon; your mileage and calculations may vary depending on the size of your receptacle.) You’re dehydrated when you wake up, anyway; this will do you the favor not only of rehydrating yourself, but also of curbing your hunger early on and setting the tone for the rest of the day. Plus, it makes for lighter lifting on the water front as your day goes on. Oh, and get a bottle with a straw. Lack of straw makes life harder.

SELFIES
The dreaded confrontation of your seemingly changeless physical appearance. I didn’t love doing this, but I got used to it — and learned not to look at the pic again once it was safely saved. My guidance about this is to do it exactly this way. Also, wear workout clothes in each photo so it’s easier to see the body beneath them; wearing street clothes makes you look different every day as it is, and those clothes hang on you differently depending on cut, style, etc. Athletic clothes are form fitting, so when you actually do finally go back and review your progress photos, you will have an easier time seeing the changes. The one thing I wish I’d done that I didn’t was take pictures in profile as well as straight on, so I’d add that to my recommendations for this aspect.

FOOD
This is the element of 75 Hard that is customizable: you choose your meal plan at the beginning and never stray from it. I chose to consume no added sugar. I had been doing this inconsistently in the days leading up to my early-June reawakening to physical self-care, but got away from it during my 2-week vacation at the end of July and wanted to firmly commit to it. It was tough chiefly in terms of logistics, as I’ve already lamented plenty of times. I feel GREAT not having that toxic chemical in my body: I have no wild energy spikes and crashes, my teeth never feel filmy, everything has a greater depth of taste, I am more in control of my emotions (which are more naturally regulated without that grainy white poisin coursing through my veins), and my skin looks and feels amazing. I would sincerely love to be sugar free indefinitely; I’ll continue to avoid it as much as possible. To anyone considering starting 75 Hard, I’d encourage you to follow a diet that you’ve always wanted to try — but that only has one element to it: No carbs. No eating after 7 PM. 100 grams of protein a day. No added sugar. I would strongly discourage trying something like Whole 30 for 75 days; it’s both far too long for that madness, and far too many dietary requirements to manage, which is the last thing you’re gonna feel like doing when you’re already juggling multiple components of 75 Hard.

WORKOUTS
There’s not much more I would say here that I didn’t mention above. Keeping variety in my exercise made it sustainable and predominantly enjoyable throughout my experience. It’s exactly what I would advise for anyone doing 75 Hard. That also forced me to push myself past my comfort zone and try out different exercises. There were still plenty of days when I really had to harangue myself into doing my workout at least once — and I mean, I really didn’t have the drive to do it some days — but I did it. It’s well worth adding that I always felt good after every working, not least of all those I was resistant to doing in the first place. My body absolutely needed a rest by the end, and I felt that all over, but I never gave in to that feeling. Sticking to the twice-daily workouts is the proudest part of my success on this challenge for me.

MY TOOLS FOR SUCCESS

  • Daily checklist. At the very beginning of the challenge, I used a blank 2-page spread in an old date book to create a task tracker for each day of 75 Hard. This was an instant staple of my daily routine, ensuring that I never missed completing any of my daily tasks. There are tons of templates online, but I enjoyed making and using my own.
  • Accountability. I started the challenge with another person, and also made it known to people I see/spend time with often that I was doing this. That made it easier to stick to my routine, especially my meal plan.
  • “No excuses” mentality. I made a commitment to do this challenge, and to finish it. I entered it willingly and with full knowledge that it would require a lot of time and a lot of planning. There was no reason I couldn’t hack it; I am responsible for myself, and no one else depends on me. (People with family members who rely on them or seriously overfilled dance cards, I don’t know how you manage to do 75 Hard. Truly.) With intentionality and organization, there was no problem that a little organization couldn’t solve. That doesn’t mean it was easy, but my zero-tolerance policy on copping out was iron clad from the beginning. I whined sometimes, but I never sought a way off the hook.
  • Insisting on fun. Sure, it’s a challenge, but that doesn’t mean fun is off the table! In fact, amusement becomes all the more important when you are pushing yourself to do hard things. When the grind got stale, I did what I could to infuse novelty. Finding new places to do the same outdoor workout, trying new types of exercises, listening to new playlists — the experimentation was all worthwhile, and ultimately necessary.

You may be wondering about my actual results from 75 Hard. I was really eager to see them myself! So, without further ado…

THE STATS
Workouts: 150 (4 rainy)
Progress pics: 75
Gallons of water: 85+
Days sick: 14
MPH increased, treadmill walking pace: .5 mile (from 2.6 to 3.1 mph)
Minutes on elliptical without stopping: doubled from 30 to 60
Books read: 7.5
Rest days: 0
Alcohol consumed: 0
Added sugar consumed: 0
DietBets won: 6 kickstarters and 2 rounds of a transformer
Weight lost: 38.8 pounds

THE OVERALL/FINAL THOUGHTS
I’m not going to say that I can’t believe I did it. I can believe it, and I knew I would. It was hard and I did it anyway. It got harder and I toughed it out. That feels flippin’ great.

Doing this did teach me a lot, though, and not just about “mental toughness”.
The rigidity of the challenge’s parameters forced me to be flexible when unforeseen events disrupted my plans: I learned to tap into my patience when that happened.
The inevitability of discoverability of my doing this because of my crazy schedule and highly conspicuous nutritional needs necessitated that I share my endeavor with those around me: I learned to show a little vulnerability by allowing people in on this adventure, and also learned that this is a form of support that ended up benefiting me.
Working out so much doubled my daily opportunity for stress regulation AND for the flow state that comes from that mental clarity: I learned cleaner ways of problem solving, and also learned that this is a conduit of creativity for me.
Eliminating sugar got me hyper-focused on diet and nourishment: I learned a ton of scientific and historical information that made me a better-informed consumer and minder of my own health.
The list could go on.

And stats-wise? Ohhhhh, yeah — I’m very pleased with my showing. I had hoped to hit a nice round 40 pounds lost, but 38.8 is nothing to sneeze at. Being clean of sugar feels outstanding, as does having read so many books and completing 150 (!) workouts. What feels best, though, is seeing the difference on the face of Day 13 Me and Day 62 Me. Yes, there’s a lot that’s noteworthy in the comparison between my progress pics from day 1 vs day 75, but the stark contrast and the unexpectedness of seeing it for the first time when I happened to look at 13/62 side by side while the challenge was still on, was a key moment of 75 Hard for me — and, truthfully, of my health journey overall. I hope that as my hard work continues, I will continue to see a discernible shift in my natural expression that indicates a positive adjustment in my mental health. That’s the real prize in all of this, and the one I’m most eager to wrap my arms around.

So, I can now say for the rest of my days that I am a 75 Hard finisher. No technicalities. No exceptions. No loopholes. No ifs, ands, or buts. Just earned bragging rights for life. I almost typed “And that’s enough — no need to do it again!” Then I remembered I’m half cracked, and I should never say never.

Because another thing I never thought I’d say is, “and now, I turn my attention to training for a half-marathon!” But here I am. Saying that.

But first: rest.

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NEW DAY 122: Where it’s due

A funny thing happens when you start saying yes to things. You become your own best friend.

Going straight to “yes” is not my factory setting. I overthink and overanticipate everything. It makes me an excellent planner, a cool-headed navigator of emergencies, and a strong leader. In equal measure, it also makes me an inadvertent self-saboteur of my own enjoyment. I not only look before I leap; I look towards the landing zone the whole way down, so much that I miss the full experience and thrill of the leap itself.

Or at least, I was that type of person.

My true nature isn’t suddenly erased and replaced, of course. I will still instinctively mentally map out every possible outcome in the name of contingency preparation for even seemingly inconsequential things, 90% of the time.1 The difference is that I now know that even if consequences other than the most-ideal ones happen as a result of my decision, it’s probably worth that bit of messiness for the trade-off of feeling enjoyment during the leap. Why should I turn everything into stakes-based choices full of weighted consequences? If it sounds good, why not jus say yes and trust myself to figure out how to go from there no matter what? Nothing is guaranteed; all my scenario planning is only a best guess, anyway. It makes more sense to believe that it — whatever it is — will work out as it’s meant to regardless of my decision, and know that I am capable of managing that — whatever that is — when the time comes.

This was not a choice I actively reflected on and then made, but rather my analysis of how my mindset shifted and my lived aftermath in the time since. I can honestly say that my life has improved as a result of it. I wasn’t consciously aware that I needed this change, but circumstances conspired that pushed me into it, and I’ve never looked back. I talked about it in elusive terms here and here, but as I’m feeling kind of wistful today, I’m going to expound just a little on some of those pieces now.

While I was aggressively job hunting this summer, I got to the final interview stage with what seemed like a good prospect. Unfortunately, that stage was a rather ludicrous task-based presentation I needed to prepare and then deliver to a 7-person panel before a Q&A. Concurrently, I was taking inventory of my relationships and re-evaluating their places in my life respective to the effort it required to maintain them. This was not unrelated to how people showed up (or not) for me when I was going through a very difficult time that had begun in February and from which I was still very much reeling. On top of this, I was plagued with self-doubt born of that struggle, and of my lifelong subpar but worsening physical health (and appearance) at a time when I desperately needed confidence to surmount the various hurdles on my path to a safe landing.

Enter: the external forces.

I found a professional support group of people who saw through my shaky veneer, to my true self. They supported me, they reminded me who I am, and they commiserated with me — but more importantly, they did so without coddling me and letting me avoid doing the work. They pushed me to tap into my strength, which wasn’t as inaccessible as I had made myself believe. Being a part of that community helped me rediscover my brand of personal inner magic that I needed not only to get through that season, but also to present to outside entities that needed to see it in order to find me an appealing candidate.

When I first started my tentative return to the gym, I was unsure of my ability, weak on my commitment, and hesitant to push myself in the way I needed to. Early on, I got an injury that worsened when it got infected, and the necessary pause from high-intensity workouts forced me back into my head when I had finally gotten back into my body. Knowing the risks that this presented, I took control by returning to playing instruments and starting to venture back into unstructured creative writing again. It kept things under control when my physical outlet was temporarily unavailable.

I gradually started getting out of the house more. I intentionally spent productive time in cafes on weekdays with a then-acquaintance who has a wfh job, who has become an actual friend as a result. We helped each other not only stay focused during those sessions, but we also encouraged and supported each other as we both grappled with getting through our respective tough situations.

There were also plenty of constants who were by my side throughout that wobbly chapter of my life. They checked on me, they lovingly imposed kind gestures on me, they found ways to give me space AND make sure I knew they were in my corner. I would be remiss to not mention that. I am, and have always been, as people-rich as it gets.

I finally found an insightful, competent therapist with true professionalism but also an actual personality, whose care and commitment I have never questioned. Working with her and being able to tell her things I have not talked about with anyone else has been a huge relief, not to mention a huge help in keeping a clear head. It’s the first positive experience I have had with therapy after several attempts over the years, and it came along at exactly the right time.

And finally… the doorstep deliveries. Not literal ones. Ones that showed up on my phone. In the form of completely unexpected and out-of-the-blue texts. Which were total context shifts from platonic to very much NOT that. From two different guys. Within the same week. The, um, charge of that got me going — interpret that however you want and you won’t be wrong — and gave me good distractions (enjoy the leap!), made me feel desirable when on my own I was feeling the opposite, and provided enough of an energy boost to kick my workouts into high gear. I almost don’t want to give this kind of credit here, but keeping it 100, it’s correctly placed. My motivation skyrocketed at the moment that turned out to be the most essential. Doorstep deliveries set the energy bar , which became the pivot point that has originated my inarguably successful recommitment to my health for the second half of this godawful year — and let’s just say the porch light is still on.

That all being said, the biggest share of the credit ultimately belongs to… me.

Saying that is not selfish. It’s not even bragging. It’s just true.

The universe could have lined up this same set of circumstances for anyone, and they might have done different things with them — or they might have done nothing at all with them.

I said yes.2

At every turn, I chose myself. I chose my actions and I enacted my decisions. I stayed on my own side. I respected my needs and what would give me something positive in the moment, promising myself to capitalize on it and bank on a high-yield ROI. Was it perfect? Of course not. Was it without hiccups, bumps in the road, weirdness, or twists and turns that produced entirely new challenges of different proportions? I mean, obviously not; that’s way too specific a list for the answer to this (clearly rhetorical question) to be anything but no. But the point is, I saw things clearly and for what they were, and did not let any undesirable potential or real outcomes deter me from my priorities. When I got stuck in my head, I knew how to get myself out safely. When I felt apprehension, I believed in my abilities to handle it and coached myself through it. When I caught myself wondering if I should have done something differently, I shrugged it off as a pointless internal debate because I was where I was; the only thing I could do now was move forward, with a little more insight and wisdom. And, importantly, when presented with any new challenge, I continued to say yes.

That’s how I wound up on 75 Hard. I’m currently on day 70. I’ll do a whole other long-winded post after I successfully complete the 75 days, so I won’t veer off in that direction now. What I will say is that it has not only solidified my path forward, but it may very well have helped me change my life.

I will end with this: being your own best friend isn’t sad. It’s a necessity. By saying yes to things outside of my head, I was actually saying yes to myself. That’s the true choice I am making every day. I choose fun. I choose joy. I choose quality interactions over quantity of friendships. I choose health. I choose laughter. I choose trying. I choose failure as a possible option, and I choose to not be afraid of that. I choose a fuller life. I choose me.

I say yes.

  1. Not including vacations. I am somehow a free spirit when I’m traveling. ↩︎
  2. The only “rule” I’ve set around this that it can’t be with the knowledge that anything I say yes to might be hurting someone — myself or anyone else. ↩︎
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NEW DAY 114: Pic a little, talk a little

This has been a frustrating week. I am feeling so TGIF, I could be watching Boy Meets World. (#Millennials) In fact, here’s a gif — because you can’t spell TGIF without GIF.

(Yes, I know it would have been better to have put a Boy Meets World gif there, but I didn’t. Let’s move on.)

The 75 Hard tasks this week have felt like a heavy lift, particularly those pesky second workouts. Getting myself psyched up enough to go do workout #2 every evening has been an EFFORT. But I’ve been doing it! I still feel good at the end of my exercise sessions and have no designs on quitting the challenge, but the challenge was much easier and more enjoyable until the recent switch away from when I genuinely looked forward to both. Sixty-two days is a long time to go without a single rest day, and needless to say, 75 days is even longer. It’s simply starting to wear on me.

…believe it or not, “wear on me” is actually a phrase I didn’t intend to use there, but damn if it isn’t a completely perfect pivot point — because I just finished combing through my library of 75 Hard daily progress selfies and noticing the differences in how my workout clothes have been *literally* wearing on me these past 2 months. The garb I’m usually rocking in my photos is my outdoor workout stuff: shorts and a sleeveless top. Today, I wore the exact same combination of top and bottom attire that I wore back on day 13, so I pulled up the two pics for a side-by-side comparison.

Holy whoa.

I knew I could feel a difference in how the clothes were fitting, but actually seeing the differences through the cruelly objective camera lens really hit. A pu pu platter of my reaction thoughts:

  • I was so much bigger 49 days ago — and that was after having already lost a notable amount of weight in the two months leading up to that point.
  • Day 62 Me looks taller.
  • 75 Hard is chiseling a shape out of the amorphous blob that was my figure 2 months ago.
  • Gosh, Day 13 Me looks unhappy.

It’s been an eventful 9 weeks, both in terms of what my body has extraneously endured and persevered through in the name of sticking with the challenge, as well as in the grand scheme of things life wise. It’s no wonder I’ve felt drained lately (although that’s been less of an issue since my most recent period ended a few days ago). If I were capable of sustaining a camera-lens level of objectivity at all times, I’d more readily have the accurate perspective that I’ve absolutely dominated these past 62 days in spite of some true nonsense that’s come my way in that time.

I will honor the sad person in the day 13 photo who wants to feel better, to look better, to do better, to be better. I know I’m gonna finish 75 Hard — I know that. And it’s gonna feel freakin’ fantastic.

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NEW DAY 110: Shadowy figures

For the second week in a row, my weight loss wasn’t what I was hoping for.

It’s true that any loss is a move in the right direction — and objectively, the amount I shed this past week was an amount I’ll probably kill to have a few months from now — but the back-to-back modest decreases on the scale seem unaligned with the effort (and exhaustion) I’ve put in for the past two weeks.

As always, I try to keep perspective: weight loss during 75 Hard is a happy byproduct, not the primary goal. I’m working on my mental toughness and keeping commitments to myself, and I’m coming through on those fronts so far. That said, I’d be lying if I claimed to have no hoped-for final total number of lost pounds in mind for this challenge — and it’s hard not to fixate on that alongside my personally disappointing numbers from the past two weeks.

BUT there are plenty of other positives to focus on. For one, I’ve racked up another official DietBet victory as of today, and am only 1.1 pound away from winning the Kickstarter that ends a week from now. I’ve persisted with 75 Hard (day 58, baby!) and continued to prioritize my health. And, most excitingly, I’m seeing more and more evidence of the physical changes in my body.

Over the weekend, I tried on 7 dresses that didn’t fit when I first started 75 Hard. Three of them now fit, and the other 4 should by the time the challenge is over. I found my very old fat pants and saw tonight that they’re too big at the waist by about 6 inches. I’ve moved a ring I’ve been wearing on my ring finger to my middle finger so it won’t slide off. I can see more bones in my hands and feet. Perhaps most unexpectedly and strangest of all: my shadow looks thinner.

Now I know that shadows aren’t the best metric of, well, anything. But I’ve been staring at mine during outdoor workouts for nearly 2 full months as it walks, jogs, and dances alongside me. During these outings, I’ve seen the bulges and pudge accentuated by the sun in ways that not even the mirror is cruel enough to shove in my face so mercilessly. Suddenly, this week, there’s, like… a whole lot less of that.

My figure is smoother. It’s not just that it moves more fluidly; its lines are more continuous. It’s more graceful, less bulky, and somehow more confident. It’s perhaps a strange thing to notice, but it’s also an impossible one not to.

It’s important to pay attention to how all of the normal markers are changing during a weight-loss mission. Non-scale victories are validating and affirming when the numbers don’t feel satisfying, and they’re helpful data beyond the unreliable narrator that is That Number. Things that keep me sane are pretty worthwhile, I’ve found, so I’ll always welcome them with open arms — even if some might call them a little shady. 😉

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NEW DAY 103: Milestones update

I’m still tired and it’s after 10 PM, so I’m gonna skip the fanfare here.

It’s been 100 days since I recommitted to my health. Here are some milestones and stats that speak for themselves without preamble.

Firsts:

  • Ran 6 miles in one shot on the elliptical
  • Tried 75 Hard (24 days to go!)
  • Bent at the waist and put my palms flat on the floor (without bending my knees)

Re-Ables (Things I Can Do Again):

  • Fit in a restaurant booth
  • Walk up stairs without getting winded
  • Drive without my belly touching the steering wheel
  • Buckle into a car seat without pulling the seatbelt all the way out in order to fasten it
  • Touch my nose to the ground while seated on the floor and leaning forward at the waist
  • Pull my foot to the side of my head
  • Take a deep breath that fills my lungs
  • Walk at a normal pace of 3.0+ mph (working up to old normal of 3.5)
  • Jog

Stats:

  • Pants sizes dropped: 3
  • Shirt sizes dropped: 1
  • Dress sizes dropped: 2
  • Pounds lost: 42.2

**I realized a good 6 weeks after making this post that I had misnumbered most of the titles from this year, so these milestones weren’t actually posted on my 100th day. Oh wellsies!

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NEW DAY 102: Feel the burn

For the last few days, I’ve noticed an unfortunate new trend: I get heartburn every time I eat. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is or even what I’m eating; it’s every time. It sticks around for up to 20-30 minutes after I finish and then stays away until the next time I eat something. I’m pretty much only drinking flat unflavored water these days, but I have noticed this happening the handful of times I’ve had coffee this past week, too. Tums reliably kill my heartburn nearly instantaneously, but they contain sugar, which means I can’t take them while I’m on 75 Hard without violating my chosen meal plan — so all there is to do is ride it out.

Needless to say, this is not delightful. I haven’t had heartburn in so long that I can’t guess, but it’s safe to say that my last instance of it was several months ago. Since then, my health has objectively improved along with my eating habits. I’m also not consuming anything unusual this week; it’s all things my body is used to and has never had a problem with before. It’s not the worst acid reflux I’ve ever experienced, but it’s weird for this to be happening. What could cause sudden heartburn like this?

I made the mistake of asking Google. Most common causes:

  • Alcohol — nope
  • Coffee and other sources of caffeine, including chocolate — nope
  • Carbonated drinks — nope
  • Peppermint or spearmint — nope
  • Spicy, fatty, or greasy foods — nope
  • Acidic fruits and vegetables, like tomatoes, onions, and citrus —nope
  • Pregnancy — nope
  • Side effects of medication — nope
  • Smoking — nope
  • Weight gain — nope
  • Anxiety — I mean, a little, but generally I’d say nope

So if it’s not any of those things, that leaves three options:

  1. This is a freak occurrence that will disappear as mysteriously as it began
  2. Something else is going on that I can’t figure out because I’m not a doctor
  3. This is an indicator of something more serious, like a hernia, ulcer, GERD, or heart attack ðŸ˜¬

My money’s on #2. And so the riding it out continues, I suppose.

Oh, and I’d like to personally thank my fellow Googlers for search term #3. New fear unlocked.

In other news, it’s a momentous occasion: day 50 of 75 Hard! Once all my daily tasks are checked off, it means this challenge is officially â…” done. Just 3½ weeks left! I wish I could say I was feeling a resurgence in enthusiasm for it, but I’m still doing a lot of pulling myself along. I had been looking forward to my weekly weigh-in today in hopes that it would give me a little boost, but it didn’t; this was the second-lowest drop I’ve posted during 75 Hard. I’m clinging to the notion that my lowest weekly loss (1.8 lbs) was followed by my highest ever (7.2 lbs), so maybe that history will repeat itself and I’ll be looking at a bigger, more satisfying number next week.

No time to fixate on any of that now, though. Last week is last week. I’m off for my outdoor workout where I’ll try a new trail in the sun. 😎

EDIT ADDED AFTER INITIAL POST:
I just took a look at my active DietBets to see my progress to goal for each one. I knew that I’d already won the one I’m in that ends tomorrow, but I have two other Kickstarters and a Transformer going. For the other Kickstarters, I’m within reach by those end dates with 1.4 lbs left to lose for the bet ending October 5th (one week from today) and 3.5 lbs to go for the one ending the following week on the 12th. I had locked up round 2 of my Transformer bet already, but I looked at that bet anyway to see where I was in relation to my overall 10% weight loss goal to hit by February. And, um:

I am 1.6 lbs under my final Transformer goal, which is 10% of my August 11th body weight. WHOA.

Once one or two of my current Kickstarters end, I’m seriously considering entering a second concurrent Transformer. I’m not really tracking my progress anywhere but in these blog posts, so seeing graphs like this on DB is hugely encouraging. (Yes, I realize I could easily track this stuff somewhere, but I have some pretty serious app fatigue.)

I’m glad I had that peek. My weight loss this week wasn’t enough to make me feel great on its own, but it was enough to get me beyond the finish line of a much loftier goal with a longer timeline.

It all adds up — it’s just a matter of perspective.

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NEW DAY 101: Happy trails

One of the things I appreciate the most about 75 Hard is its requirement for an outdoor workout every day. Sure, it’s a hassle if there’s inclement weather that either throws a wrench in my planning or forces me to get attacked by the elements if bad conditions hit during my session, but getting outside has been wonderful for me. The daily dose of sunshine, fresh air, scenery, increased vitamin D, and exposure to nature combine to form a powerful mood booster that has helped stabilize my emotions, allowed me to clear my head, and and given me a prescription to get out of the house to shake up my stale surroundings.

I started tentatively exploring the greenway near my house earlier this summer, well before 75 Hard was even in my vocabulary. One of my first visits there is when I took a spill and busted my knee, which triggered a weeks-long hiatus from going there again. Since beginning 75 Hard, though, that greenway has become a staple in my routine — but I haven’t spent much time on the actual trails that make up the greenway. On my normal trips to the site, I fast-walk (and sometimes attempt to jog) around — and stop for frequent dance breaks in — the large paved surface up a small hill from the parking area. Trudging into the sprawling footpaths has felt intimidating to me; there’s no area map, so I can’t tell where the trails go, see how they all connect, or get a sense of how long it might take me to complete a given circuit. Since the time I’m there is usually my lunch break, I’m hesitant to experiment with what could turn into a very long walk and then be scrambling for time, or late returning to work. On top of all that, the last time I did venture back into one of the trails this summer, I made it about 10 minutes in before I got too winded by the hills to continue, so I turned back and left. I’ve been reluctant to do a repeat of that, so I haven’t bothered.

Until today.

I wasn’t feeling particularly eager to get out there for workout #1 this morning. It’s overcast, I haven’t slept well in days, and I’m bored with the same old routine. I finally coaxed myself down to the greenway and decided today was the day I would mix it up by at last giving the trails another try. Armed with a clear schedule and dozens upon dozens of podcasts to catch up on, I headed into the great unknown.

It took exactly the 45 minutes I needed to count as a 75 Hard exercise sesh. And furthermore, the hills were manageable! Towards the end, when I knew I was completing the loop back to the parking area, I kept trying to identify the point where I had given up and about-faced out of the trail 3 months ago. I never figured it out, even though it was the same trail; I reached the exit in total confusion, lungs full of air and not at all out of breath.

I really enjoyed the different experience and feeling of exploration I got to have today, and I’m looking forward to doing more of that at the greenway. Changing it up can be a small risk, but it’s almost always worth it. Now that I have a variety of new paths to infuse some novelty into my outdoor workout options, I’m feeling a bit more energized about the remaining 26 days I have on 75 Hard.

Again, I’m so glad I’m obligated to get out there for exercise every day. It’s expanding my horizons while helping me become measurably fitter. This challenge has given me the opportunity to surprise myself over and over again, and that’s been priceless.

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NEW DAY 100: I’m tired, boss

It’s day 48 of 75 Hard, and I’m writing this from the moving walking pad in my home office as I finish this second-to-last task of the day. Less than one month from now, this challenge will be over and I’ll be assessing my performance during it.

Right now, I’m tiiiiiiiiiired. It took 2 full weeks for my apex predator of a cold to finally fuck off, and although I feel almost 100% better, I still have some residual phlegm and nasalness to my voice. Blazing through 14 straight days of that unwelcome guest to my immune system possibly protracted my recovery time, since 75 Hard does not allow for any rest days. I doubtlessly got through that mostly on adrenaline, and now that my inner cheerleader is slightly lowering her megaphone, I’m feeling some sort of crash. It doesn’t help that yesterday and today, scheduling hiccups outside of my control threw off my usual routine of a midday outdoor workout followed by an indoor post-work exercise session. Those disruption-induced changes resulted in every kind of restlessness: antsy feelings during the day as I itched to get my movement in, no time for a pause between things thanks to the congestion in my daily activities, and evening workouts late enough to spike my energy before bedtime and cost me sleep at night. A big ol’ UGH to all of that.

I’m not sure how the scale will reflect the blah of the latter portion of this week, but I did the best I could under the circumstances. What I do have indications of is how the world is reflecting my 75 Hard-fueled changes thus far:

  • My clothes are looser. I wore an outfit on Tuesday that I last wore 6 weeks prior, on August 11th. At the time, the pants were new and slightly snug, and the top was old but recently re-shrunken into — though it did hug me too tightly when I sat down in it. This week, I was swimming in both articles of clothing to the point where I looked and felt ridiculous. Neither piece is long for this world.
  • My face and shoulders are slimmer. In a recorded video of myself seated and speaking directly into the camera for 45 minutes from two weeks ago, I’m rocking puffy cheeks, a double chin, and outward-sloping shoulders. My most-recent 75 Hard progress photos — and, dare I say, mirrors — show a consistent face width, a single chin (at many angles), and shoulders whose edges almost align perpendicularly with the floor.
  • People in my in-person social circle are remarking on my physical changes out loud. Over the weekend, my dad hit me with a “there seems to be less of you!” This morning, I met a friend for a half-day working session at a coffee shop and she commented something along the lines of being able to tell that 75 Hard is working for me.

So yes, I’m low on energy right now. I may even be running low on enthusiasm. But I am NOT low determination, commitment, or sticktoitiveness. And while my fire may need new kindling, it helps that I don’t have the sole responsibility of producing it this time. The above list of real-world reflections is coming through with a lot of that heavy lifting.

And now, we weekend.

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NEW DAY 89: Was blind, but now I see

The spell is broken: halfway through 75 Hard and I’m finally able to notice some changes in my progress picture for the very first time. They aren’t major differences, but enough that I no longer feel gaslit by my own eyes.

Unfortunately, what has always accompanied moments like this for me is the unwelcome reality of how far I still have left to go. I unconsciously zone in on the areas of my body that bother me most and bore hate into them with my laser eyeballs, as if the heat from my resentment will melt the fat right off. (Spoiler alert: it has not.)

I’m not feeling deflated or discouraged, but I am feeling tired. It’s the familiar moment of being a third of the way up a very steep hill I’m walking and knowing the only way to the top is to keep putting one weary foot in front of the other and dragging my wide load all the way up. How the heck long am I gonna have to drag my ass until I get there? UGH.

And yet, I have nothing to reasonably complain about. I have only been at this for a little over 3 months, and my progress has been remarkable. That virtue of patience I hear so much about is not one I possess, but keeping things in perspective, I am dropping weight quite quickly with the help of 75 Hard. I know that won’t last forever; the losses will slow as there’s less to lose, and I will have a new level of mental toughness to attain.

Until then, I’ll look back at the distance I’ve covered so far and be proud of my aching feet for putting it behind me.

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NEW DAY 81: OMG, WHAT?!

Sunday is my weight tracking day. It’s the day I mark the end (NOT beginning) of my week and officially update my weight loss tracker. I try not to peek at the scale between Sundays, unless I have to for a DietBet weigh-in/weigh-out.

Well.

I just had my weekly 1:1 meeting with the scale, and…

Ho. Ly. WHAT.

I lost 7.2 pounds last week.

No, like… actually.

This goes a long way to offsetting some of my disappointment from last week, when I only dropped 1.8 pounds after powering through some truly torturous workouts (and other situations) while on a sinister period — and I highly suspect that a non-negligible portion of this 7.2-pound loss was really from last week, but masked by residual water retention. All the disclaimers aside, it doesn’t matter when the scale decided to show the change; I worked for it, I earned it, and it’s my win!

I had been feeling and noticing differences throughout the week, but I never imagined I would lose more than 4 lbs at the absolute max. I have NEVER lost this much in a single week. I am absolutely mindblown!

It feels even better knowing it’s not from doing anything but truly healthy things. I’m consuming zero processed sugar, drinking at least a gallon of water every day, and working out twice a day. Importantly, I’m also spending time outdoors and getting enough sleep to sustain the physical demands I’m making of my body. And boy, did my body reward me for it this week.

Seven. Point. Two.

LET’S GO!!!