Getting back on the horse has been so exhausting and challenging, I can’t help but curse past-me for having gotten off in the first place. That was dumb, past-me. SHAME ON YOU/ME/US.
As I’ve most recently lamented, sleep has been a problem lately. Just when the remedy to that arrived (my new mattress and box spring finally came at the end of last week!), I had a nasty allergic flare-up amid a sudden onset of spring that has woken me up persistently throughout the night so I can give in to full-body coughing fits. It’s really just the loveliest. I can only imagine how much worse it would be without my Rx antihistamines and allergy shots (though I really don’t have to imagine)!
This, and a slightly indulgent Saturday (two meals out that included mostly healthy choices, with the exception of one cocktail and one pastry, and zero gym time although I still made all my daily steps), converged to stall my weight loss. My scale has been showing me wildly inconsistent numbers that seem like they’re just being randomly generated by some gremlin living inside the scale, and I’ve given in to weighing in often multiple times a day just to try to identify what my real weight might be. Foolish and counter-productive, is what I’d call that venture. I am now swearing off the scale until the end of this week. I know for my own sake I can’t weigh in more than once a week. Back to that.
Also, I’ve been generally slacking at the gym. I still go for the most part, but I’ve been letting myself off the hook of really pushing myself. I know the pounds aren’t gonna drop off for free; I have to pay for that shit with my sweat. What I’ve been doing hasn’t been cutting it. I know that, and yet I haven’t been pushing myself. Come on, self. Scale gremlin lives off this kind of laxness.
I’m also wearing orthotics now, as prescribed by my podiatrist. As my body adjusts to their correctional effects, there’s some stiffness and soreness in random joints up and down my legs. I know it’s temporary, but it is a bit of a hindrance.
Things are finally trending toward equilibrium, though, and I’ve slowly noticed I’m feeling more rested when I first get up in the morning. I’ve even dared to let myself believe that the slimmer neck and shoulders on the body I’m seeing in the mirror might be real.
During my Sunday visit to the gym, I did some interval jogging on the treadmill for the first time in ages, maxing out on 3 minutes straight at 5.0 MPH. Last night at the gym, I self-insisted on my arms circuit and event tried a new machine that had always been a little intimidating to me (the rower) before pushing myself on the elliptical (which only exists in models I don’t like at my gym). Still not a profuse sweat, but a good start. And honestly, the post-workout soreness from the two days combined is highly satisfying.
This morning, walking down the stairs to leave my building, I felt more energetic and lighter on my feet.
And then when I arrived at work today, I got the affirmation of a co-worker.
Her: “You look like you’ve lost some weight. Have you been losing weight?”
Me (out loud):
Me (internally): “Why, yes. Yes, I have.” (HEAR ME, SCALE GREMLIN! HEAR ME! **shakes fist**)
In your face, container of brownies that mocked me at the grocery store last Friday. You can bite me.
[…] If I can’t resist the damn scale, which should be an easy thing to resist because it’s THE ENEMY with a gremlin living inside it, how am I gonna say no to donuts and cookies and bowls of whipped […]